Misconduct?
by The Confused One
Summary: During a routine interrogation Bobby finds himself in big trouble. Can Alex and Deakins get him out of it? BA FINISHED!
1. Trouble starts

Misconduct? Pt. 1  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Law and Order: Criminal Intent. Wolf, NBC, and others do.  
  
Rating: This chapter is what? G? LOL  
  
A/N: This story should get interesting! I hope you like it. And remember to REVIEW! Thanks.  
  
Bobby and Alex sat in an interrogation room with female suspect. It was ironic that she happened to be a cop's daughter, and not just any cop, but the cop that has been chasing after Bobby's thunder since he started in narcotics a long time ago. She killed her drug dealer. Bobby was sure of it. All the evidence easily lead them to her. This interrogation was definitely an exercise in going through the motions. They didn't even need a confession on this one. It was just nice to at least try. But seeing as she was a cop's daughter it was a little more difficult to get her to talk. Alex was frustrated and ready to give up. She rolled her eyes as once again the girl claimed her innocence. But Bobby kept hammering away at her. He threw pictures of the crime scene and victim onto the table shouting, "You can't tell me that if you didn't do this you would be able to look at these pictures."  
  
The girl defiantly snorted, "I'm a tough girl. Like my father."  
  
Bobby stopped. He wondered if she would be easier to crack if he was threatening her father. He gave her a once over. She still refused to look at him, and she still kept her arms crossed. Bobby was about to mention her father when the door opened and Deakins walked in. He looked over at Alex and asked, "Alex, can I talk to you for a second?"  
  
Alex nodded got up, and looked over at Bobby. Bobby motioned for her to go on he knew he would be fine without her. Alex nodded again and walked out. She asked, "What is it?"  
  
Deakins stepped away from the glass and said, "I'm about to end this if you guys don't get something soon. Is he onto something?"  
  
Alex nodded again. She could feel that he was about to change tactics when Deakins walked in. She replied, "Yeah, I think we might get her to talk soon."  
  
Deakins groaned. He replied, "You two have ten more minutes. You've got a full case load, and don't need to be spending so much time on something that's already ready for trial."  
  
Alex nodded. She answers, "I know. I'm sorry sir. We thought it would be worth a shot. We'll finish it up."  
  
Deakins nodded. That's when they heard it. Jennifer, the girl, screamed, "Get off me!"  
  
Alex's heart leapt up into her throat. Alex threw the door open, and Deakins wasn't far behind. When they got in there they saw Bobby staring at her from almost half way across the room. Jennifer looked scared. She was huddled in her seat. Bobby's eyes were huge. He wasn't sure what this girl's game was now. Alex demanded, "What's going on?"  
  
Before Bobby could respond Jennifer jumped up out of her seat. She yelled at Bobby, "Just wait till my father finds out about this. The upper brass will have your badge!"  
  
Bobby looked stunned. He wasn't sure what to make of the girl's outburst. Looking at her he asked, "What are you talking about?"  
  
Alex was instantly confused. There was no way Bobby had done anything wrong. She mimicked Bobby's question by saying, "Yes, what are you talking about?"  
  
Jennifer menacingly looked up at Alex. She retorted, "I'm sure you know. I'm sure he does it to you all the time. He's not getting away with it this time. I'd like to file charges of sexual harassment and police misconduct, Captain." 


	2. Truth and Lies

Misconduct pt. 2 By: Confused One  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the show, characters, or anything else you recognize! LOL Wolf and company do. I'm not making any profits. Please don't sue. Thank you.  
  
A/N: I got bored and decided to pots and finish these next chapters! LOL I hope you guys like this one OK. I would like to thank everyone who took the time to review this fic. I am eternally grateful for those reviews. Oh yeah, one more thing, please Review, again. Thanks.  
  
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Bobby stood in disbelief. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He yelled, "What are you talking about? I never."  
  
He was beginning to walk over towards her. Alex stepped in his way and interrupted his rant, "Goren, now's not the time."  
  
He backed off and began pacing. Deakins looked at the girl and replied, "Someone will be in here in just a second with forms for you to fill out. Goren, Eames outside."  
  
Jennifer smiled triumphantly. She sat down and coolly said, "Thank you Captain."  
  
The two detectives followed Deakins out. Bobby was nervous. He began explaining outside the room, "She's scared. Everything is about her father. He's-he's pulling her strings. I threatened him. Now she's threatening me. She didn't want to answer the questions about him."  
  
Alex nodded. She was following so far. It made sense. She hesitantly asked, "How did you get to asking about her father to her filing sexual harassment charges?"  
  
Bobby continued his story, "I asked her what her father would think of her dragging his name through the mud? How he would feel to have his old rival to have his daughter in custody for murder? She didn't have an answer. She just sat their for-for a moment before screaming. I wasn't even anywhere near her. It doesn't make any sense."  
  
Alex rolled her eyes. Suddenly it hit her. She replied, "No, I get it. It's to get back at you. She figures that if she's going down, and if she's going to hurt her father, you're going too. Which would help her father."  
  
Alex sighed. She was worried now. She wasn't sure what they were going to do. But she knew she had to keep Bobby's spirits up and try and get the truth. She calmly replied, "I'll talk to her. Try and get her to tell us the truth."  
  
Deakins wasn't sure it was such a good idea, but he knew how headstrong Alex could be. She wanted to help her partner, and would do anything to accomplish that goal. He replied, "We'll both talk to her. Maybe with the heat off from an interrogation she'll talk. Goren, stay here."  
  
Alex could see the worry on his face. She soothingly whispered, "Don't worry, Bobby. We'll get you out of this."  
  
Deakins looked over at one of the officers standing in front of the door. He called over to them, "One of you go get someone from IA. She wants to file. She has to give a statement."  
  
Alex then followed Deakins' lead and walked into the interrogation room. Deakins was already questioning her, "So, what happened?"  
  
Jennifer immediately tensed up more to see Alex walk in. Alex noticed the girl staring at her. Alex replied, "Go ahead. Tell us what happened."  
  
Jennifer hesitated for just a moment as Alex sat down. She began her story, "He-he asked about my father. He wanted to know what he would say about me being here. He demanded to know what my father would think of him having me in custody. He walked over closer to me. Then he asked what my father would think about him touching his daughter. He walked over here, and touched my breast. That's when I yelled for him to get off me. The son of a bitch immediately walked over there, and started acting like he didn't have a clue about what happened. Is someone coming in here to get a statement? I want him off the streets."  
  
Deakins and Alex looked at each other. They weren't buying any of it. Alex began talking to her, "Come on Jennifer tell us the truth."  
  
Jennifer looked at her with anger in her eyes, "I am telling the truth!"  
  
Alex sighed again. Mimicking Goren style, Alex slammed her hand down on the table. She replied, "Bobby tells a different story Jennifer."  
  
Jennifer shook her head. She replied, "Why wouldn't he?"  
  
Alex decided to start telling his story. She began calmly replaying what Bobby had told them, "He says that you got tense when he started asking about your dad, that you wouldn't answer his questions. Is that right Jennifer?"  
  
Jennifer lowered her head for a moment before hesitantly replying, "Yes. But that was because he was getting so close to me. It was making me uncomfortable. Then he asked what my father would think of him touching me."  
  
Alex was unfazed. She icily continued, "He says he was over there when you screamed for him to get off of you."  
  
Jennifer knew there was no way that she could prove it. She knew that all she had to do with stick to her story. Even if they managed to find the truth somehow his name would always be sullied. She angrily spat, "He's lying detective."  
  
Alex took a deep breath. She decided that trying to scare her might work. Alex lied, "It doesn't really matter what you say Jennifer. The tape will tell us the truth."  
  
Jennifer had to keep from laughing. She decided to play dumb. She knew they didn't have any cameras in there. She knew that all she needed to do was stay cool. She replied, "Well, good. Go watch it then detective. It'll tell you the truth."  
  
Alex was now getting very frustrated, and Deakins was giving her one of those looks. She was so good Alex wasn't sure if she was bluffing or knew there weren't any cameras. She was saved by a knock on the door. She was annoyed by the interruption.  
  
Deakins was also annoyed by the interruption. He had decided to let Alex fudge a little. He wanted to help Bobby as much as Alex did. He called out, "Come in."  
  
A young scared looking man hesitantly walked in. He stated, "I-I'm here to get a statement."  
  
Deakins nodded. He touched Alex's arm. She stood up and followed him out. Bobby met them at the door. He looked at Bobby before stating, "She seems bent on doing this."  
  
Alex was now the one pacing. She couldn't help but wonder if she could have gotten more if she had played it right. She suddenly felt beyond inadequate. She wondered if the roles had been reversed if Bobby would have fared much better. Course it wasn't like IA had given them much time. She looked at Bobby and whispered, "I'm sorry."  
  
Bobby was shocked to hear Alex apologizing. He didn't want her blaming herself. He replied, "This isn't your fault, Eames."  
  
The three stood in silence as the man walked out of the interrogation room. Deakins knew if they were going to help Bobby they were going to need a copy of the report. He ordered the man, "I want a copy of that report on my desk the moment you finish it. You hear me?"  
  
The man nodded and replied, "Yes sir. I understand."  
  
Alex was in shock. She couldn't believe that she had gone through with it. She said aloud, "She went through with it!"  
  
Deakins took a deep breath. He replied, "It's an IA investigation now. I can't believe I have to do this. Bobby, I have to suspend you. Bobby, know that this isn't over yet. We'll get the truth. Don't worry." 


	3. The plan to save Bobby

Misconduct?: chapter 3  
  
By: The Confused One  
  
Disclaimer: I sadly don't own anything affiliated with Law and Order: Criminal Intent or any other Law and Order for that matter. As usual I'm not making any money, and please don't sue. Thanks  
  
A/N: I would like to thank everyone for there wonderful and colorful reviews of this fic. I loved every bit of it! Please remember to continue to give me such wonderful reviews, for reviews are what fuel a writer. It's what keeps up writing. Thanks.  
  
Bobby stood in shock. He wasn't quite sure he was comprehending everything. He numbly handed Deakins his badge and gun. He looked directly into Deakins eyes the whole time. He couldn't even look at his partner, Alex. Bobby whispered, "She'll tell her father, the truth. She'll want him to know what she did for him."  
  
Deakins nodded. He understood what Bobby was getting at. It made sense. He glanced over at Alex who also seemed to be getting it too. They watched Bobby walk away. She stared as he walked away. She mechanically replied, "Can we get a meeting for them?"  
  
Deakins was facing the other way. He stared at the badge. He answered, "We can try. It depends on what IA lets us do."  
  
Alex immediately looked over at Deakins. They looked at each other. Alex was horrified. She was livid now. She yelled, "You know they won't let us do it. The only plan we have of maybe getting Goren out of this is in the hands of the people who are out to get him? That doesn't even make sense! We both know IA has been after his badge since he started. They'll read that report and have one conversation with her and that's it. They won't even question her motives or the possibility that she's lying through her teeth. If we're going to do this, they can't know. We both know it"  
  
He knew she was right. IA would never even give Bobby's side the time of day. He coldly told Alex, "Set up the meet between them. We can monitor and tape the whole thing."  
  
Alex took a deep breath. It made her feel better to know he was behind the plan. She replied, "I'll call him."  
  
Deakins watched as Alex left. He looked over at the uniforms standing in front of the door. He ordered, "Go ahead and take her back to her cell." With that Deakins headed back to his office to think.  
  
Alex stood outside the familiar porch. She had lost track of the amount of times she had been there for some reason or another, but it was never to give him such terrible news. It had been three days, and IA was ready to start getting the facts of the case. She rang the doorbell and waited patiently. She knew better than anyone how long these things usually took. As the door opened she couldn't help but be happy to see Bobby's familiar face. She began, "Hey."  
  
Bobby took one look at her and smiled. He had missed seeing her. He returned the greeting, "Hi. Come in"  
  
Alex smiled too. She accepted her invitation inside and walked in. She smiled even more as she took in his apartment. She always loved the spaciousness of it. It wasn't a lot bigger than her apartment, but due to the architecture his felt huge in comparison. She sat down in the den before making chitchat, "Looks like you've been busy."  
  
Bobby sat down in the chair across from her. He picked up his book preparing to put it away while replying, "I've been bored"  
  
Alex smiled. She figured she might as well just get it over and tell him why she was there. She replied, "I'm sorry. IA is starting the interviews tomorrow. I'm supposed to give you this. It's when you're supposed to be there. Deakins is first thing, I'm next, Carver after me, and your last. They're going to do Jennifer and her father the next day. Deakins and I set up a meeting for Jennifer and her father tomorrow while IA is busy with you. Hopefully they'll talk. He's only heard the official story."  
  
Bobby nodded in understanding. He was truly grateful for the chances they were both taking on him. He replied, "Eames, thank you."  
  
Alex couldn't help but smile again. She trusted Bobby with her life. She knew he hadn't done anything, and she didn't mind putting her own career on the line to prove it. She replied, "I just want you back at the station. I never noticed how boring it was there without you."  
  
Bobby laughed. He always loved her sense of humor. It was only one of the thousands of things he loved about his partner. He sometimes wondered how she was ever able to put up with him. He replied, "I know I've never been the easiest person to get along with, Eames.."  
  
She could feel where his comments were going. She didn't want him to finish them. She interrupted him, "It's true. You're a pain in my ass most of the time, but it's why I wouldn't trade you for anyone else in the world. You keep me on my toes. I'm doing what it takes to prove what happened Bobby. Your worth it."  
  
Bobby looked up at her. He was grateful that she got him. He smiled before replying, "You should go. You can't be caught hanging around me right now."  
  
Alex nodded. He was right. It would be misconstrued. She stood up from her seat and headed for the door. She called back to him before leaving, "See you tomorrow."  
  
Alex sat with Deakins and Carver in his office. It was one of the tensest moments the three had ever had. Carver spoke, "Your telling me that the two of you are planning on breaking IA protocol and procedure?"  
  
Alex grudgingly nodded. She replied, "We all know he didn't do it. That girl is not going to take him down. I refuse to let her. Besides, you know as well as we do that if IA has it their way and gets Goren's badge, she'll walk. Are you prepared to let Jennifer walk for murder because she's lying?"  
  
Carver was annoyed now. He didn't appreciate the third degree. He might not have always gotten along with the detectives but he respected and appreciated Goren's talent. He replied, "I never said I wasn't behind it detective. Just tell me what I need to do."  
  
Alex was pleased and relieved to hear this. She smiled and replied, "Just stall. Give us time with them. Bobby is going right after you. He already knows too. He'll also stall. If the two of you take as long as possible they'll never know we let them talk till after we have the truth on tape."  
  
Deakins was sitting at his desk. He was glad to see that everyone was on board. He stood up and headed for the door. He said, "It's time. After they finish with you Eames, go straight to the interrogations rooms. He'll be here at two. Don't worry if you're running late."  
  
Alex nodded. She got up as Carver did. They followed Deakins out. They had to get back to work and act natural; it was going to be a long day. 


	4. Questioning

Misconduct?: chapter 4  
  
By: The Confused One  
  
Disclaimer: See the first three chapters! LOL The disclaimer is ALL there.  
  
A/N: Ok, this chapter is going to be strange. It's just straight through all the interrogations. It's not going to flow. We'll see what Deakins and Alex are up to with Jennifer and her father in the next chapter. That one will flow better.  
  
Deakins sat at one of the long interrogations tables. Two men from IA sat across from him. The taller one introduced himself first, "Captain James Deakins right? I'm Gregory Hensley."  
  
Deakins shook his hand. The other man now introduced himself, "And I'm Dennis Huffines. We'd like to thank you for your cooperation in this matter. Hopefully we can make this swift and painless for you and the rest of your division."  
  
Deakins arched his eyebrows. He certainly didn't believe a word these guys were saying, but he played along, "Thank you. That would be most appreciated."  
  
Gregory now spoke, "First of all we would like to get a sense of who detective Goren is. How long have you known him?"  
  
Deakins relaxed and began, "I've known detective Goren for about ten years now. He's one of the best I have."  
  
Deakins could tell that the men were skeptical. Dennis questioned, "I see. How many times have you had to file a report or suspend detective Goren, Captain?"  
  
Deakins moved uncomfortably in his chair now. This was one question he didn't want to answer. He hesitated before answering, "Detective Goren isn't like most people. He requires a certain amount of handling. I have never had to suspend him till now. I have had to write him up several times."  
  
Deakins could see the satisfaction on their face. He could tell they were enjoying burying Goren. Gregory started in next, "And has his conduct with a suspect ever been in question before?"  
  
Deakins again hesitated with his reply, "All the reports have been about his conduct with a suspect, but it's never been serious."  
  
Deakins watched as Gregory nodded. He asked another question, "What exactly were the reports about?"  
  
Deakins knew nothing he was saying was helping, but he also knew that they already knew the answers to these questions, so he had to be honest. He replied, "Detective Goren has a tendency to get a little violent for most people's tastes. He'll slam his hand on the table to get them to pay attention. He paces and gestures with his hands a lot. It unbalances and unnerves most people. The suspects lawyers have on occasion complained, but they were obviously never serious enough to merit concern. So, yeah, I just filed them as department write-ups. I think his record on apprehension, interrogation, confessions, and convictions speaks for itself."  
  
Deakins watched the men. Dennis nodded. He came back at Deakins, "It seems to us that this department has been covering up Goren's misconduct since he transferred to this department."  
  
Deakins closed his eyes momentarily. He knew he should have been ready for that. He clarified, "Like I said. The complaints were never serious. It was always something like he's too harsh. Tell him to back off some. Nobody in this office is covering up anything. Every member of my squad will vouch for that. Goren is a bit unorthodox at times, but he knows the lines not to cross."  
  
Dennis arched his eyebrows. He replied, "Really? What about Lance Brody, Julie Turner and Nicole Wallace? I think swinging a metal pipe is a bit extreme. Putting an unstable young woman in the same room with her suspected murderer father is more than just a bit unorthodox. Letting a murderer get the best of him, not once, doesn't boast of the great detective everyone here seems to claim he is."  
  
Deakins explained, "The report shows that detective Goren acted within police boundaries in all of the situations."  
  
Gregory was up again. He asked, "So, your saying that detective Goren has never crossed the line with his methods? That nothing like this has ever happened in the past?"  
  
Deakins rigidly replied, "That's what I'm saying. Detective Goren is one of my stars. He's a brilliant detective with an even more brilliant mind."  
  
Dennis nodded accepting what Deakins had said. He changed the subject, "So, what happened with Miss Irving?"  
  
Deakins wasn't thrilled to be on the subject of Jennifer. He trusted and believed Bobby, but he wasn't sure how to try and get that across to these detectives. He replied, "I pulled Eames out for a moment to get a report on how much longer she thought they would be with the suspect. We heard Miss Irving cry out. We ran in, and detective Goren was on the other end of the room, and he did not seem out of breath. The girl was acting upset about something. When we pushed to know what it was, she said she wanted to file charges against detective Goren."  
  
Gregory asked, "So, you don't think detective Goren did anything?"  
  
Deakins nodded. He replied, "I know he didn't."  
  
Gregory nodded. He replied, "Thank you for your cooperation Captain. If we have any other questions we'll get back in touch."  
  
Deakins got up and left the room. Looking at his watch he smiled, he had plenty of time to get things set up before the showdown and Alex arrived.  
  
Alex sat fuming. She was going to be as uncooperative as possible. She refused to hurt Bobby's case. Gregory and Dennis stayed sitting across from her. She smiled thinking that they obviously didn't know the most affective techniques. She waited for the questions to begin. Gregory asked, "What's your relationship with detective Goren?"  
  
Alex almost laughed. This was going to be an easy one. She replied, "We're close friends and partners, nothing you don't already have in you file there."  
  
Dennis nodded. He clarified, "Have you guys ever had sex? Has detective Goren ever come on to you?"  
  
Alex was annoyed now. She wasn't sure why they thought that even if they had done any of it that she would say so. She replied, "No. Nothing's ever happened. We're just friends, and neither of us have even tried to cross that boundary."  
  
Alex waited for what she knew was coming next. Dennis asked, "Do you want more?"  
  
Alex rolled her eyes. She kept her anger at the line of questioning in check, "No, I don't want more. He doesn't want more, either."  
  
She watched as Gregory nodded. He asked, "Does that attitude have to do with how he treats suspects?"  
  
This line of questioning was insulting to Alex. They were pissing her off, of course. For the moment she let it go. She answered, "No. It just is. Detective Goren is never out of line when questioning suspects. He's the best at it."  
  
She just took a deep breath and waited for the next question. Gregory asked, "So you've never had a problem with how detective Goren conducted an interview?"  
  
Alex replied, "Yes, of course I have. You couldn't find a pair of partners in the world that didn't disagree sometimes. But he certainly never stepped over any lines."  
  
Dennis nodded. He continued, "What happened Friday when detective Goren and yourself were interrogating Miss Irving?"  
  
Alex breathed easier. This was a much better topic for her to talk about. She replied, "Captain Deakins called me out to ask how much longer he thought Goren would be. Goren and I have a sort of feel with each other. Generally, we have a flow and follow the new directions that the other might take. We know where we stand, and we can tell when the other is on to something. I was telling Deakins that Goren was most definitely onto something when we heard Miss Irving yell. We immediately burst back in. Detective Goren was nowhere near Miss Irving, and he was downright shocked when she wanted to press charges. Detective Robert Goren, didn't do anything. He's one of the most respectful people I've ever known. He treats everyone equally. I couldn't work with him otherwise. I don't take to chauvinism. That's not him. This is not in his nature."  
  
Alex wished now she hadn't said the last part. She knew what was coming now. Dennis asked, "Really? It's not in his nature? You seem so sure of this."  
  
Alex defensively and immediately responded, "You don't work with someone for five years without knowing the type of person they are and what they are and are not capable of detective."  
  
Gregory nodded. He cut it short, "Thank you detective Eames. If we have any further questions, we'll get back to you."  
  
Alex immediately took off to where she was meeting Deakins. She knew it was now or never. They had to get Jennifer admitting the truth on tape.  
  
After the introductions Carver settled in for the questions for the detectives. The questions began quickly. Gregory began, "ADA Carver, we're not quite clear on what exactly your relationship with detective Goren is. Please explain."  
  
Carver nodded. He replied, "Detective Goren and I are friends and co- workers."  
  
Dennis continued, "Friends? I've been told that you two often argue. What's the truth here ADA Carver?"  
  
Carver knew the tactics that they were using. He wasn't about to be tripped up by them, "Detective Goren is an unusual person. He often times work mainly on instinct, often causing him to need to work his cases backwards to prove his theories. We sometimes clash over the amount of real evidence he's found. I usually end up with detectives Eames and Goren's cases because of that very fact. Most of the others are too afraid to push Goren to find the evidence to back up his theories. But I push them, and they always find the evidence."  
  
Dennis shot back, "If you work so well and so often with detectives Goren and Eames, where were you Friday?"  
  
Carver knew that this was where he had to watch out. He chose his words carefully, "I was in my office preparing that case for trial. Detective Goren is a master interrogator. I just decided to skip the confession interrogation this time."  
  
Gregory pushed, "Is that not because you already had all the evidence you needed and the interrogation was unneeded and unwanted?  
  
Carver again chose his words carefully, "It's true. The case was ready to go already, but detectives Goren and Eames are very thorough people. They wanted to make sure she didn't get off. Was it unneeded? Yes, it was. Was it unwanted? No, it was very wanted. A confession is always good for a case."  
  
Gregory nodded. He replied, "You can go, now. If we have any more questions, we'll be in touch.  
  
Carver exited the room hoping things were going smoothly and were getting under way with Jennifer and her father, George. To keep suspicions down he went back to work, passing Bobby in the hall. Neither of them said a word to the other.  
  
Bobby sat and waited. He quickly sized them up. They weren't very comfortable doing any of this, he noticed. Their introductions had been brief, how his often sounded, only without the stuttering and slowed speech. He figured they were hoping that this would make him uncomfortable and more likely to slip up. Gregory started, "Your colleagues speak very highly of you. I'd first like to get a feel for your relationship with each of them. What is your relationship with Captain Deakins?"  
  
Bobby saw these as the easy ones. He answered, "He's a friend and my superior."  
  
Dennis nodded, and continued, "What about your partner, detective Eames?"  
  
Bobby instantly replied, "She's a close friend. She's probably the best partner I've ever had. We seem to have a natural flow in our interrogations and investigations."  
  
Gregory pushed a little, "A flow?"  
  
Bobby smiled. He wasn't about to rise to the bait. He wasn't going to let them try to make something out of nothing. He clarified, "We just have a natural ability to be able to follow where the other is going with their questioning, and then switch our own tactics to follow theirs. We just make a great team, especially in the interrogation room."  
  
Gregory switched people, "Alright. What about ADA Carver? How do you get along with him?"  
  
Bobby answered quickly, "We're friends. We don't always agree on tactics, but we're friends."  
  
Gregory nodded accepting this. He asked, "What is about your tactics that causes the problems?"  
  
Bobby smiled again. He was almost enjoying this. The questions were rather easy. He answered, "I run on theories, and I have to work backwards. Most ADAs are unnerved by that tendency. I jump the gun sometimes wanting search warrants and what not before I have the evidence. Carver is smart enough to know when to tell me to get more evidence before he waists his time with a judge."  
  
Dennis jumped in, "So you assume people are guilty before you can prove it."  
  
Without showing how annoyed the question made him, Bobby defended himself, "I never assume people are guilty. I like to prove people innocent more. I just try to get the truth."  
  
Dennis responded, "Alright, let's move on then. Out of curiosity how do you see your behavior with suspects?"  
  
Bobby quickly replied, "I see my behavior with everyone as professional and standard."  
  
Gregory asked, "So, what happened Friday?"  
  
Bobby coolly replied, "As I already said in my statement, she's scared. I started asking about her father, who she desperately wants to please. She wasn't sure what to say. She knew he'd be disappointed. She-She knows the history her father and I have. She knew it would make him happy for someone to get me. She saw the perfect opportunity. She could possibly get off, frame me, and please her father."  
  
Dennis and Gregory looked at each other. They were thrown by his detached view on what happened. He wasn't like most people, he gave his story in psychology, and not the normal where everyone was and what was said explanation. Gregory asked, "So, you're saying that you were never even close to her?"  
  
Bobby nodded. He replied, "Yes, that's what I'm saying."  
  
Dennis continued, "And what did you ask her?"  
  
Bobby explained, "I was-was trying to needle her. I wanted to get her talking. I asked her-her father would think of her what she had done. I asked what her father would think of me being the one who caught her. She wasn't answering. I was about to try another one of my techniques when she yelled for someone to get off her. Deakins and Eames came into the room right after she said it. We were all confused till she started in about sexual harassment. Then it all made sense. She was acting out."  
  
Gregory asked, "Detective Goren, we have to be honest here with you. The upper brass is pushing for us to believe this girl if at all possible. We would like to believe someone that seems to have the confidence and respect of so many could be telling the truth. Now that I've met you, I must say, that I'm inclined to trust your colleagues and believe that nothing happened. Tomorrow we'll be grilling Miss Irving and her father. I just thought I should let you know that. We'll be in touch. You can go."  
  
Bobby got up stunned and left the room. Dennis looked at his partner and asked, "What was that?"  
  
Gregory smiled. He replied, "My new strategy. If we get their guard down around us, we'll get the evidence we need to get him off the force for good."  
  
Bobby knew they were up to something. That last bit was way too touchy feely and definitely not something they would be admitting to him, of all people. Bobby decided to just go home and trust Alex and Deakins would get Jennifer and George on tape. He couldn't worry about the investigation. He couldn't participate. 


	5. The Truth is Out

Misconduct?: Pt. 5 By: The Confused One  
  
Rating: PG-13ish. Not really bad, but I'd rather be safe than sorry.  
  
Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own any of this. I'm just playing with them. I promise to put them back safe and sound when I'm done.  
  
A/N: Finally something good is happening for our heroes, but this definitely not the end. So enjoy this hopeful moment. Also, I made a couple of tiny little changes in some of the other chapters. I'm sure none of you would even realize that the changes had been made. I wouldn't worry about them. I just thought I'd tell ya that I made them, and remember to review the chapter. Thanks.  
  
Deakins stood waiting for Alex or George to show up. He looked through the glass and watched Jennifer sit bored. He was staring at Jennifer so intently he didn't even notice Alex walk up behind him till she spoke, "Is he here?"  
  
Deakins jumped and turned around quickly. He replied, "No, not yet."  
  
Alex nodded. She replied, "Good, I didn't want to miss this."  
  
Deakins nodded too. He replied, "As soon he gets here and in there we can turn on the speaker and recorder.  
  
Deakins watched as Alex began pacing. She was nervous and worried about how it would all go down. Turning his attention back to Jennifer, she continued to sit rather patiently in her seat. He could just guess why. He could hear Alex still pacing the floor. It was starting to bother him. Looking back at her, he suggested, "Eames, stop pacing. He'll be here."  
  
Patience wasn't one of Alexandra Eames' virtues. She hated waiting, but she did what she was told, if for no other reason than to deflect any suspicion of what they might be up to. She knew that they couldn't appear too anxious for the two of them to talk.  
  
Before Deakins could say anything else, he saw the man they were waiting on in the doorway. Walking over to him, Deakins plastered a fake smile on his face as he greeted the man with a handshake, "Detective Irving."  
  
George took Deakins' hand. With concern in his voice George asked, "So where is my daughter."  
  
Deakins motioned towards the interrogation room. Faking sincerity Deakins replied, "She's in the interrogation room. We thought we'd give you more privacy."  
  
Alex nodded in agreement. She explained, "We figured you'd like to talk to your daughter alone before tomorrow."  
  
Warily accepting this George nodded. He mumbled a thank you before brushing past the two and into the interrogation room. He didn't notice the smiles that Deakins and Alex were now wearing. Without a word Alex turned on the speakers and tape recorder. They wanted this on tape. It was the only way IA would believe it. They waited.  
  
Jennifer looked up warily as the door opened. Her face instantly lit up into a smile when her father entered the room. Jumping up from the chair she was sitting on Jennifer wrapped her arms around her father in a hug. George gladly returned the hug, but when Jennifer pulled away she could see her father's worried and anxious expression. She explained, "I'm sorry, I didn't want you to know. He was threatening to tell you. I thought, I thought I could cover it up. Please don't be angry with me. I made it up to you. I got that cop you hate so much."  
  
George sat down next to his daughter. They moved the chairs so that they were facing each other. George replied, "Damn it Jen. It would have been better to go to rehab and move on. You're going to jail now, and everyone knows it."  
  
Alex watched Jennifer swallowed hard. In that instant Alex knew Bobby had been right about them. She listened as Jennifer pleaded, "I know I screwed up. I'm so sorry Daddy. I'm really sorry. I didn't want you to have to know about it. Please, please don't be mad."  
  
With a sigh, George begrudgingly relented, "What happened with Goren?"  
  
Jennifer's eyes lit up. She immediately got animated again. She explained, "He was taunting me about you. He asked what you would say about me getting caught for murder. I couldn't take it anymore. I was already worried enough. So, I screamed sexual harassment. He's gotten me into enough trouble, now I'll get him into trouble and get off on the charges. It's perfect Daddy. They can't prove that he didn't do anything. He's going to lose his job, and then you can finally get transferred up here and get him out of your hair. I know how you hate him anyway."  
  
He immediately seemed to go pale. Staring at his daughter he yelled, "You did what?"  
  
Alex watched as Jennifer recoiled slightly. Watching her and this conversation unfold she almost had to wonder if this was the same girl. She couldn't believe the difference one person made in her demeanor. She was no longer the stubborn, obstinate, intelligent, and slightly pushy girl she was before he walked in. His presence seemed to turn her into mush. She had never seen Bobby be so right about a person. It made her feel extremely uncomfortable. She listened as Jennifer tried to explain, "His stupid partner and captain of his apparently weren't watching his back by listening and taping. Their ADA wasn't even down here. I hadn't gotten a lawyer yet. It was just too perfect."  
  
Deakins could see on Alex's face that she too just wanted to throw up. Jennifer Irving was way too smug for his taste. He was going to enjoy showing her that she wasn't as smart as she thought she was. Jumping out of his seat, George bolted for the door. Deakins and Alex just stared at him as he exited. He looked like he was about to throw up himself when he saw them staring at him in positions that it was obvious that they had been listening to their conversation. Swallowing he stammered, "Use the tape. Get him off, please. Just because it's too easy for him doesn't mean he deserves to be set up."  
  
Alex and Deakins shared a moment of relief. Deakins announced, "We plan to use it. It was the whole point of this."  
  
With a sigh of relief, George headed towards the door. He stopped, but didn't turn around. He replied, "I, I can't talk to her right now. Tell her, tell her I had to go."  
  
Jennifer immediately looked up to see who was coming into the interrogation room. She was immediately disappointed to see Alex. Jennifer questioningly asked, "Where did my dad go?"  
  
Alex shook her head. She quipped, "Probably digging in for the attack."  
  
Jennifer looked a little confused. She asked, "Attack? What?"  
  
Alex stared the girl down for a moment. She finally explained, "The conversation you just had with your father, we recorded it. IA is going to know everything. Goren is going to be cleared, and you're going to jail. Your daddy is getting ready to have to try and explain himself."  
  
Jennifer sat staring back at Alex stunned. She had no words anymore already. Tears began falling down her face. She replied, "He left? He, he left? He knows. He knows everything, and he's still gone."  
  
It was Alex's turn to look confused and stunned. She was completely unprepared for this reaction. Mustering her courage Alex tried to reason with her, "Why the hell are you worried about him? He's going to be fine. You're the one who's going to be rotting in a prison cell! Think about yourself."  
  
Jennifer was now staring at Alex. She asked, "I am! But you don't understand. I did this. This has all been for him. Everything I've ever done was for him, and he's gone. He doesn't care. He never did, not once did he ever care."  
  
Alex couldn't believe that she didn't see it. Closing her eyes for a moment, Alex tried again, "Listen to me, I said stop. Your father does care. Maybe you can't see it, but he does care, but it's time to think about yourself. He can't help you."  
  
Jennifer began shaking her head. She didn't believe a word of it. Stammering she replied, "I'm sure you had the perfect father and mother family, but I, I didn't. My mother, she died when I was born, and he's hated me from that moment. Everything I've fucking ever done has been for that bastard! I just wanted him to see me! I wanted him to love me! I wanted what I know you have. I wanted a father who gave a damn. Now, now it's too late. None of it matters anymore. He left, and he'll never see me again. He won't want to. All that has ever mattered to him has been his job. He just cared about his damn job. It's why he hates Goren. My dad, he works so hard to get what he gets. Goren, Goren just is. Everything comes to him. My father can't handle that. Like I said, it doesn't matter anymore, now. It's all over."  
  
Alex stepped away from Jennifer now. She looked away now. She whispered, "My father. My father is far from perfect, Jennifer. He's like everyone else. He has faults, but I know how lucky I am. My father gives a damn, but Jennifer, point is no one has perfect parents. You can't. People, people, they're flawed. You can't expect them to be what you want and need all the time."  
  
Jennifer just stared at Alex blankly. She didn't want to hear this. Standing up now, she obstenantly replied, "I'm tired. I want to go back to my cell."  
  
Alex rolled her eyes. Without another word, Alex left the room. As she walked by she spoke to the guards, "Take her back to her cell."  
  
Alex gathered her stuff and refused to look at Deakins, who she knew was staring at her. Deakins finally spoke, "You ok?"  
  
Alex finally looked at him. She shot him a supportive smile before replying, "I'm fine. She just bothered me."  
  
Nodding, Deakins replied, "Your father. Things ok between you two?"  
  
Alex smiled again. She replied, "Yeah, everything's fine. Like I said, she made it personal, and she annoyed me. She's all over the board, trying to make everyone feel sorry for her. My relationship with my father is good. It's very good. It's too good even. I feel guilty enough around Goren. He didn't have anything close to what I did, but her. She's doesn't deserve that guilt. She's trying to make people feel sorry for her, when she doesn't have anything worth feeling sorry for. Her father, it doesn't matter what she says, he cares about her. I saw it in his eyes. She's just a stupid kid. One day, hopefully, she'll realize what she threw away. She just bothered me."  
  
Deakins nodded in understanding. He replied, "Yeah, I know."  
  
Alex smiled. She replied, "None of it matters tonight anyway. We've got good news, and I'm dragging Goren out of his apartment to celebrate."  
  
Deakins gave her a small smile. He agreed, "Tell Goren I said to have a little fun. He doesn't have enough. Just remember, we need to be here by eight, if we want Hensley and Huffines to hear this before they talk to Jennifer and her father."  
  
Alex nodded. She replied, "I'll be here. Don't worry."  
  
Deakins nodded. He watched as Alex grabbed her purse and left, both hoping things could get back to normal soon. 


	6. The calm

Misconduct? 6?

By: The Confused One

Rating: PG chapter

Warnings: None really.

Archive: Amorous Intent for sure. Anyone else, just  
ask.

Summary: We left off with Bobby leaving his meeting  
with Huffines and Hensley, a little confused about  
what was said. Alex and Deakins got Jennifer and  
George on tape talking about setting Bobby up and  
killing the drug dealer, Richards. She went to find  
Bobby to give him the great news.

A/N: Sorry it's taken so long. It just took me  
forever to even begin to get this scene right. And  
I'm still not confident about it. If anyone has any  
suggestions: please speak up. Thanks. :)

Bobby made his way to his car. Stopping short, he  
noticing someone was standing by his car. He smiled a  
little as he suddenly realized who it was. Picking up  
his step, he softly greeted, "Hey."

Alex was relieved to see him already. She had been  
afraid she was going to have a long wait. Giving him  
a smile of her own, she skipped greetings and got  
right to what she knew he wanted hear, "We got it.  
She told her father everything. It's all on tape.  
This whole nightmare is almost over."

Relief instantly flooded Bobby. He hoped and prayed  
that this would start the end of it all. Meeting her  
eyes, he muttered, "Thank you."

Alex, who was quite pleased with herself smiled and  
pointed down the sidewalk as she suggested, "Come on.  
Let's get something to eat."

Bobby nodded, and they wordlessly headed towards the  
café down the street. As they walked Alex proceeded  
to elaborate and explain what happened with Jennifer  
and George, "When he walked into that room, it was  
eerie. I swear, I think she almost liquefied."

Alex smiled as Bobby sniggered, before continuing her  
story with a question, "You know that sullen,  
stubborn, obnoxious girl we've been dealing with since  
we started this case?"

Bobby gave her an uncertain nod. He wanted to know  
where this was going. He quickly gave a half hearted  
answer, "uh huh."

With a nod of her own, Alex quipped, "That girl  
doesn't exist anymore. That man walked into that room  
and she did a complete one-eighty. She was all over  
him. His approval is the only thing that matters to  
her. Not only did she tell him the truth, she  
explained her reasoning for killing Richards and  
setting you up. I've never seen you be more right  
about someone. They're a couple of live wires.  
George even figured us out. He came out, caught the  
machines on. You've seriously underestimated that guy  
Bobby. He was actually relieved we were getting it  
all. He told us to use the tape even. He can't stand  
you, but he can't let anyone, even his own daughter,  
railroad you."

Bobby arched his eyes and opened the door to the café  
for Alex. He defended himself, "I know his bitter  
streak, but I really didn't think even he could sit by  
and watch."

Alex smiled brightly now. Reaching the counter, Alex  
watched as Bobby greeted the woman at the register,  
"Hi Mary. How've you been?"

Mary smiled at Bobby in return. She instantly  
answered, "Bobby, Alex. Haven't seen you two in  
days."

Alex smiled back in return. She explained, "Things  
have gotten a little crazy. We finally got a moment,  
so we thought we'd come get something we recognized."

Mary snorted. Smiling brightly, she replied, "Then  
I'm guessing, two usuals?"

Nodding, Bobby added, "And go ahead and put it on one  
ticket Mary. I'll pay."

Alex was immediately startled and confused. Sure,  
there were times when they had both paid for the  
others food, but it was usually talked about first and  
done because the other didn't have any cash on them.  
Watching as Bobby pulled out his wallet and before  
Mary could give him the total, Alex questioned, "What  
are you doing?"

Bobby let a hint of a smile cross his lips. He knew  
he'd get a reaction. He calmly reasoned, "With  
everything you've done for me today. The least I can  
do is pay for your six dollar meal here."

Immediately over the irritation and confusion, Alex  
smirked. Sometimes she was sure he was too good to be  
true. He was too sweet. Meeting his eyes was just  
the final straw. With a sigh, she finally relented,  
"Fine. Pay."

That's just what Bobby did. After paying, getting  
their ticket, order number, cups, and giving there  
thanks to Mary the two made their way to a table.  
Meeting Alex's eyes again, Bobby asked, "So what  
happened with Hensley and Huffines?"

Alex took a sip of her Pepsi. She sighed. Knowing  
his gallant streak, Alex was sure he was going to hate  
her story. She lowered her voice as she spoke, "I'm  
sure you noticed, they have no technique. They  
aimlessly just asked me lots of questions. Just keep  
that in mind. They asked about us. They wanted to  
know about your behavior…"

Bobby instantly found her eyes. As far as he was  
concerned, they could say whatever they wanted about  
him, but even insinuating such things about her was  
just not permitted. Bobby's eyes darkened. He  
angrily whispered, "They what? I'll kill them!"

Seeing the anger in his face, Alex refused  
to break eye contact. Reaching out her hand, she put  
it on top of his. It already seemed to sooth him.  
Keeping her voice firm and strong, she whispered back,  
"Don't. They're not worth it. They don't have clue  
about what they're talking about. They're idiots, and  
we both know it. Let it go. I've had worse. I. I  
only brought it up because you asked."

That was enough to bring him back down. Looking down,  
Bobby honestly replied, "I hate this. You don't  
deserve any of this."

Alex closed her eyes and took a deep breath.  
Swallowing hard, she replied, "You don't either. I  
wish you'd remember that."

Before Bobby could reply Mary called their number.  
Alex instinctively removed her hand. He stood up to  
grab their food. Meeting Alex's eyes, Bobby replied,  
"Thank you."

Sitting back down, Alex watched as her ham sandwich  
and chips were put in front of her. Smiling, she  
thanked him before continuing her story, "They asked  
what I thought of your interrogations and treatment of  
suspects. They asked what I saw Friday. That was  
actually about it. It was short for an interview."

Bobby gave her a grateful smile. He replied, "They'll  
probably want to talk to all of us again. They didn't  
keep me as long as I thought they would, and they  
didn't even ask specifics. It leaves me thinking that  
this is all show. They're sure they have something,  
and they only want it to look fair. Before I left,  
Hensley gave me this song and dance about the two of  
them believing me, and it's the brass that's out to  
get me. As if I believe a word of it. I don't even  
think they've contacted Bishop, and they're probably  
not planning on it. I just have a very bad feeling  
about this."

Alex swallowed a bite of her sandwich before trying to  
reassure him, "Even if they are, they're going to have  
to dismiss everything against you once they hear the  
tape. She admitted everything Bobby. She even  
admitted to killing Richards. It's almost over."

Watching her take another bite of her sandwich, Bobby  
replied ruefully, "I hope so."

Catching his eyes again, Alex replied forcefully,  
"Hey. Trust me."

With a sigh, Bobby decided to change the subject.  
Smiling slightly now, Bobby affirmed, "I got a call  
from your mother yesterday. Wanted to make sure I  
knew when and where the picnic was this year."

Bobby trailed off. Alex smiled slightly. It had been  
so easy for her to do. All she had done was invite  
him to the picnic, a couple of years back, and let Bobby  
and his charm do the rest. She had only needed to  
invite him that once. Her family fell in love with  
him. Her mother and father started inviting him on  
their own, to all the family functions including the  
major holidays. Bobby, by now, was basically family.  
Alex looked up and asked, "So what's your assignment  
this year? Mine is the baked beans."

Bobby smiled even more. He replied, "I've got the  
potato salad."

Alex arched her eyebrows. She was a little surprised.  
Watching Bobby chew, she questioned what he said,  
"But Angie always has potato salad. You sure you've  
got the potato salad?"

Bobby shrugged slightly before explaining, "I was told  
to bring potato salad. It's probably slack because of  
the baby."

Alex took a deep breath and began staring at her  
sandwich. With a nod, she admitted, "You're right.  
That's probably it."

Bobby closed his eyes, mentally kicking himself for  
bringing up the baby. With the concern in his voice,  
Bobby apologized, "I'm sorry. I know it hasn't been  
easy for you. Are you OK?"

Meeting his eyes again, Alex's voice was a little  
shaky as she admitted, "Getting better. I'll be  
fine."

Bobby offered the best help he could, "I'm here if you  
need me."

Alex gave him a heartening smile. She assured him, "I  
know. Thank you. You've already helped a lot."

Despite her assurance, Bobby was still convinced he  
hadn't done enough. He whispered, "I haven't done  
anything."

Alex almost laughed at the absurdity. She confessed,  
"Trust me. Those midnight calls, I owe you a lot for  
putting up with me the last few months."

Bobby, who was completely confused, questioned her  
logic, "How does that compare to what's going on, with  
me, right now? I think you're mixed up on who the  
difficult partner is in this relationship."

Alex couldn't help but smirk. Watching him finish his  
ham sandwich, she admitted, "I've always been able to  
figure you out. Our. Our connection is natural  
Bobby. You know that. You're not a problem. You're  
not work, and you're not difficult."

Meeting Alex's eyes once again, he knew it was true.  
They had always had a special easy connection.  
Neither of them had ever understood it, and he, for  
one, was too scared of what he might find out to even  
try to understand it, most days. But he knew what it

was, deep down. He just couldn't bring himself to

acknowledge it out loud. Bobby whispered back, "I

know. Thank you for that."

Swallowing the last of her sandwich, Alex looked away  
from Bobby. Alex simply replied, "I'll call you  
tomorrow, after it's over. We're doing it early,  
right when they get in."

Bobby nodded as he gathered their trash. Meeting her  
eyes one last time for the night, he acknowledged her,  
"Night Eames."

Alex smiled slightly. She was never going to get him  
to call her Alex on a regular basis. Before heading  
towards the door, she replied, "Thank you for dinner.  
Night Bobby."


	7. The Tape

Misconduct: Chapter 7

By: The Confused One

Rating: This chapter is probably in the K+ range.

Warnings: None Really.

Archive: If you want it, just let me know where I can visit it.

Summary: Alex and Deakins unveil the tape to Hensley and Huffines.

A/N: I'm incredibly sorry it's taken this long to get a chapter done. I swear the next one will be soon. I like this story. It's one that has a real plot. LOL I have a couple I'm sort of aimlessly writing. Anyway, I'm back. I'm going to get this story back up and running. I have no idea how many more chapters it will be, but I have the next couple chapters in my head. One will include a Bobby/Alex breakfast that may or may not include Deakins… can't decide. Let me know if you think he should be there or not. It'll sway me one way or the other. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

There was something about the whole situation that ate at James Deakins. He silently feared it wouldn't be fixed as easily as having these two IA guys listen to the tape of Jennifer and her father. He feared it was going to get worse. Deakins was so lost in thought that he didn't hear the knock at his door for a moment. He finally called out as the knock got louder, "Come in."

Alex opened the door and slipped inside. She was quite happy and relieved to see her Captain. She closed the door behind her and commented, "I was hoping you'd be early."

Deakins nodded as Alex sat down. He explained, "I couldn't sleep."

Alex immediately understood. She agreed, "I couldn't either."

Alex was nervous. This was it. She feared this was their one chance to clear Bobby, and she didn't want to screw it up. She could tell Deakins was a bit nervous himself.

The two fell into a deafening silence. Deakins worked, and Alex resisted the urge to pace. Then there was another knock at the door. Looking at Alex, Deakins called out, "Come in."

They were both surprised to see Bobby walk in. He closed the door behind him and apologized, "I couldn't stay home. I was restless. Sorry."

Deakins and Alex both understood. It was his career on the line. She smiled slightly as he sat down beside him. It actually calmed her, slightly. She always felt better when she saw Bobby, but it was one of those things she would never ever admit out loud. She assured her partner, "We're waiting for them to get here."

Deakins explained, "Monica, in the lobby, is going to call when they arrive."

Bobby nodded. He smiled slightly and explained, "She let me up here."

Deakins shook his head slightly. He almost groaned. Shaking his finger, he warned, "I didn't hear that Goren. I don't want to know these things because then I have to deal with them."

Bobby and Alex both smiled. Bobby apologized, "Sorry."

With a sigh, Deakins took a more serious turn, "I hope this works."

That's when Bobby told Deakins what he had told Alex the night before, "I got bad vibes from the interview yesterday. They tried to disassociate themselves from the brass and IA. I'm not sure what their game is, but I'm not sure they're really after the truth. I don't like it."

Deakins nodded in annoyed understanding. He forcefully promised, "If they blow us off, I'm going over their heads. I swear Bobby; I'm not letting this go."

Alex immediately chimed in, "I'm not dropping this either."

Bobby listened. He appreciated their determination and confidence, but a part of him worried. He had images of this spinning way out of control and hurting them too. He wasn't willing to risk that. Gesturing for effect, as always, he voiced his concerns, "I don't want you two getting hurt by this…"

Alex knew immediately where this was going, and she cut him off, "Listen to me. I'm not sure I even want to be here if good cops can get railroaded like this."

Deakins, wanting to defuse the situation, commented, "Besides, we're all getting a little ahead of ourselves. We still don't know what Hensley and Huffines are going to do."

Before anyone could reply, the phone rang. Eyeing his two detectives, Deakins answered it, "Deakins. Great. Thanks." Hanging up, Deakins sighed and announced, "They're here."

Alex stood up. She anxiously replied, "Good."

Deakins stood too. Grabbing the tape recorder and checking for the tape, he headed for the door. Turning back to face Bobby, who was still facing the desk, Deakins warned, "Stay here till we get back, and hands off my stuff Goren. I know how hard it is for you to keep your hands to yourself, but please try."

Bobby smirked, along with Alex. Bobby assured the Captain, "I'll be good." Bobby then heard the door close behind him. Deakins and Eames were gone. He took a deep breath.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Gregory Hensley and Dennis Huffines walked into the interrogation room. Dennis almost whispered, "You know it is possible Goren is innocent."

Gregory rolled his eyes. He couldn't believe how naive his partner could be. He snorted and replied, "Highly unlikely Dennis. Besides, you heard our boss. He wants results."

Dennis argued back, angrily, "He wants the truth Greg."

Gregory yelled, "He wants us to take Goren down. The brass wants Goren. Why not get some recognition and make a name for ourselves?"

Dennis argued back, "We're supposed to get the truth. That's what Goren deserves and what our superiors want. This job is not about making a name for ourselves. You're underestimating how the brass feels about Goren Greg."

Before Gregory could reply, Deakins and Eames stormed in. Gregory, irritated, yelled, "What the hell?"

Deakins, exasperated, ignored Gregory and explained, "We have something you two need to hear."

Dennis warily eyed Gregory and replied, "Go ahead. What is it?"

Gregory sighed and agreed, "Play it."

Deakins pulled out the tape recorder and hit play. Dennis was horrified as he heard Jennifer Irving talk to her father and admit everything. Once it was over, Dennis assured the Captain and his Detective, "This is good. It should…"

Gregory knew what Dennis was going to say, but he wasn't willing to give in yet. He quickly interrupted, "We'll talk to Miss Irving and her father about this today. We'll take it into account. But tell me, how did you come about this tape?"

Dennis spoke before Deakins or Alex could, "That's not important Greg." Turning his attention to Deakins and Alex he assured them, "We'll deal with the tape."

Thinking quick, Gregory added, "And we'll keep the tape."

Deakins watched Alex prepare to protest. He quickly intervened, "That's fine."

Before Alex could argue, Deakins had her out the door. She angrily yelled, "What was that? They have the tape now!"

Deakins tried extremely hard to ignore the disrespectful words. He explained, "I have more than one copy Eames."

Alex closed her eyes, realizing how stupid she had just acted. Letting the worry and anxiety dissipate, she apologized, "I'm sorry. I'm just worried about Goren. I don't trust them. They're IA."

Deakins nodded. He understood her worry. He knew as well as anyone that Bobby Goren didn't have an excessive amount of friends in IA or the Brass for that matter. He tried to assure Alex, "Not everyone is out to get him."

Alex took a deep breath. She knew he was right. It wasn't as grim as she sometimes worried. Even she actually understood it wasn't so much that the Brass disliked Bobby, they just got tired of the bad attention he could bring. After Brody, Nicole Wallace, Croyden, and others Bobby just gave them all migraines worrying what he would do next. Starting for Deakins office, she softly replied, "I have to tell him what happened."

Deakins touched her arm, stopping her. He reminded her, "We have to tell him."

Alex nodded. With that, they both headed silently back to Deakins' office.


	8. Dropping Charges

Misconduct: Ch. 8

By: The Confused One

A/N: I know this chapter is short. I'm gearing up for a longer next chapter. I promise.

Bobby finally gave up. Bobby's almost legendary nervous energy pulsed through him. Course, today it was worse. He had reason to be nervous. Standing, Bobby paced.

Opening the door, Alex didn't even blink an eye. He was pacing. She figured as much. She looked in the eye and could see the questions there. Before he asked, she volunteered, "It didn't go as well as we'd hoped."

Bobby nodded. He appreciated her ability to seemingly read his mind sometimes. Plopping back down in his seat, Deakins followed Alex in. Alex sat beside Bobby, and she watched Deakins walk to his desk. She immediately looked to Deakins and asked, "Well, what's the next move?"

Deakins shrugged. He simply answered, "We wait."

Alex sighed. For the first time that day, she noticed she was hungry, and if they were going to have to wait, she was just going to re prioritize. She announced, "Then we're going to go eat."

Realizing he too was hungry, Bobby agreed, "Yeah. Where do you want to go?"

Alex thought about it momentarily before suggesting, "The little pastry shop down the street. It would be easier than anywhere else."

Bobby agreed with a nod. Standing up, he looked at Deakins. He offered, "You should come."

Deakins waved them off. He shook his head and explained, "I can't. I have work to do."

Alex insisted, "No. Really. Come with us."

Deakins declined, again, "Thank you, but I really can't. You see that stack of paperwork? I still need to do it. With everything going on, I've gotten behind."

Bobby nodded. He started to apologize again, "I'm sorry..."

Deakins wouldn't hear it, "No. Don't apologize. Just go eat."

Seeing they weren't going to win, Bobby and Alex shuffled out of Deakins office.

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Dennis stared at his partner, Gregory. He insisted, "This tape should be the end of this Greg, and you know that."

Gregory argued back, "I want to hear what Jennifer and George Irving have to say before I just let this whole investigation go."

Dennis shook his head and sighed. There was no getting through to Gregory. Before he could protest anymore there was a knock on the door. Dennis called out, "Bring her in."

Gregory watched Jennifer carefully as she was brought in, placed in a chair, and uncuffed. He only heard the guards leave. Focusing on Jennifer, he started the interrogation, "Miss Irving I'm Detective Hensley and this is Detective Huffines. We want to talk to you about the complaint you filed."

Jennifer was a bit confused. She wasn't sure why they were still talking to her after what had happened the day before. She thought that Detective Eames had gotten it all on tape. She thought surely they had played it for these two IA guys by now. She decided to bite the bullet and go with it. She engaged Hensley, "Yeah. I filed a complaint against Detective Goren."

Continuing, Gregory pushed, "I would like to hear, from you, what happened."

Dennis watched. He could see Jennifer was about to answer. He couldn't play the charade any longer. He spoke before Jennifer did, "I'm sorry. Miss Irving, please explain this tape."

Jennifer took a deep breath. This was what she had expected. She watched as Dennis pressed play. As she listened, she avoided the Detectives eyes. If she had been paying attention, she would have seen Gregory's scowl and eye roll when Dennis took over. Once it was done, Jennifer nodded. She lamented, "I guess it's over then. You know the truth."

Gregory closed his eyes and leaned his head back. She didn't even try to deny the tape or come up with an excuse for it. He sighed and announced, "Yeah. I guess that's it then."

Dennis was relieved. No one was fighting the tape, and Greg wasn't going to be fighting him anymore about Goren. Goren was going to be officially cleared. He watched Gregory knock on the door. They watched as the guards took Jennifer away. With a sigh, Gregory looked at his partner. He admitted defeat, "I guess there's nothing left but to write up the report and get Goren reinstated."

Dennis nodded. Knowing how Gregory felt, Dennis offered, "Don't worry about it Greg. I'll write it up. I know you don't want to. Go get us something to eat."

Gregory nodded. Grabbing his stuff, he watched Dennis get ready to write the report. He shook his head with annoyance as he left the room.


	9. Breakfast and Feelings

Misconduct: Chapter 9

By: The Confused One

A/N: I certainly hope the shippers like this chapter. I'm setting up for the final two to three chapters. I have a surprise in store.

Most of the walk to the pastry shop was in a heavy sort of silence. Alex just wanted to hug him and make it better. She could tell he was beginning to let it really eat at him. It worried her. She held back slightly. She was afraid what would happen after such strong contact would do. It was hard enough when he leaned over her shoulder or they touched hands. Since Jennifer's accusations, she had become even more keenly aware of it all. Somehow what they were going through heightened the experience. Walking, Alex assumed it was probably because of how much they missed each other. Bobby hadn't been at work in days, and Alex was feeling it. She knew Bobby was too. Finally, she spoke weakly, trying to assure him, "Huffines at least seemed interested in the tape and what was on it. Hensley though seemed to want to pretend it didn't exist."

Bobby sighed. He quietly commented, "Figures."

Alex was sure he hadn't meant for her to hear that last part, but she had. She quipped, "I heard that."

Bobby smiled slightly. He gestured and elaborated, "Hensley seems to be in charge. Huffines takes his lead. It's not really helpful to have him believe the tape. It's not going to do any good."

Worried, Alex, insisted, "Hey. Don't do that. You don't know what's going to go on up there. No matter what happens next, we'll handle it."

Stopping, Bobby admitted, "That's what I'm afraid of."

Confused, Alex turned to face him. She demanded an explanation, "What's going on with you?"

Bobby looked at the sidewalk. He really didn't want to have to explain. He cryptically answered, "Nothing. I promise."

Shaking her head, Alex persisted, "No. Something is wrong. Talk to me Goren. Please."

Bobby finally looked her in the eyes again. He confessed, "I'm still worried about you. I don't want you putting your career at risk here. I know how much it means to you."

Alex sighed loudly. Shaking her head, she argued, "Has it ever occurred to you that you mean more to me than anything in the world?"

Bobby met her eyes again. It had taken him by surprise. He almost dared to hope it meant what he wanted it to mean. He always knew Alex cared, but he always assumed it was just as a friend and partner. Her words gave him hope that there was more. He wasn't about to test his theory though. He stumbled through his words, "I. I just mean… I don't want you getting hurt."

Alex nodded. She understood his need and desire to protect her. She tried to reason with him, "I promise nothing bad is going to happen to me. Besides, I'm an Eames. I'm supposed to get into trouble with the NYPD."

Her underhanded slight against herself wasn't lost on Bobby. Alex began walking again. They were almost at the pastry shop. Catching up, Bobby commented, "You are not your father, and he's not a bad guy."

Alex nodded. She agreed, "I never said I was or he was. He was just trying to take care of my mom."

Opening the door for her, Bobby agreed, "Right."

Reaching the counter, Alex and Bobby ordered separately. She got a croissant, and he got two donuts. They both got coffee. Sitting down, Alex resisted the urge to touch him. She redirected the conversation back to what was bothering him, "I wish you wouldn't worry so much about me. You'll see. It's all going to work out."

Bobby started tearing his donuts apart and commented, "I hope so."

Alex took a deep breath. He was trying her patience for the day. Reaching over, she touched his face. He met her eyes. She tried again, "Deakins, you, and I are all going to make it out of this fine. Have a little faith."

Bobby smiled slightly. With her hand so close, he wanted to lean over a little himself and kiss her. He settled for calling a truce, "You're right. I have no reason for pessimism. I'm fine. I promise."

It was then that Gregory decided to make his entrance. He instantly recognized the two detectives. He stood almost stunned to see how close they were. Had Eames lied to him? He was beginning to wonder. Irritation grew within him. They were going to be free to continue whatever was going on between them without any concrete proof. Walking towards them, he watched Alex put her hand down and pull away back to sitting upright in her seat. He made his presence known, "Hello Detectives."

Bobby and Alex exchanged guilty glances before looking at Gregory. Alex began, "Hi."

Gregory decided to try desperately to forget what he saw just moments before, mostly because he could feel the groan they were both sharing at seeing him there. Cutting the chitchat Gregory almost grudgingly offered them news, "We talked to Jennifer Irving. Huffines is writing up the report now. She corroborated the tape. You're cleared."

Bobby smiled. He genially thanked the man in front of them. Hensley walked away towards the counter. Bobby finally looked at Alex. They were both beaming. Keenly aware of Gregory, Bobby and Alex desperately avoided touching each other in any way. Bobby held Alex's gaze. He whispered, "Thank you."

Alex smiled softly. She nodded and accepted his words. Grabbing their trash, they threw it out and hurried out of the shop, as Gregory stewed and ordered.

Walking back towards the office Bobby and Alex beamed. Most of the walk was again quiet. This time they were savoring the moment of victory. Alex was thinking of ways to celebrate, several involved surprising Bobby. She spoke first, "I wish you would stay today. I miss having you across from me."

Bobby smiled. It was nice to hear things like that. His insecure side needed to hear it sometimes. He didn't want to leave anymore than she wanted him to, but he wasn't supposed to be there at all. Most of all, he hated the idea of disappointing Alex. He tried to let her down gently, "I want to too. I've missed you so much. I just. I can't. You know that. I'm suspended."

Alex wanted her partner back desperately, so she pushed, "No one is going to say anything if you sit at your desk and talk to me."

Bobby sighed. He insisted, "Hensley and Huffines would have a lot to say about it if I stayed."

Not wanting no for an answer, Alex snapped a little, "Well, who is going to tell them?"

Bobby reminded her, "They'll be bringing Deakins a copy of the paperwork today. I'll be back in two days max. You know what. What…"

Alex knew he was right. She interrupted, "I'm sorry. You're right."

Reaching the door, Bobby and Alex stopped. Facing each other, Bobby asked, "You'll call me later?"

Alex nodded. She promised, "Of course. I promise. I guess I should go tell Deakins."

Bobby nodded. Taking a step back, Bobby only wished he could get closer. He wanted to touch her. He wanted to kiss her, again. He agreed, "Yeah. And tell him I went home, to avoid getting anyone into trouble."

Alex nodded. Bobby watched as she turned and walked inside. With a sigh, he headed to his car. He couldn't understand it. It didn't make any sense to him. He had long since noticed and accepted the tension between them, but he couldn't explain why it had suddenly gotten so intense the last few days. Was it stress? Where they just missing each other that much? It just didn't make sense to his analytical mind. It occurred to him that they should talk about it. He knew she felt it too, but he was scared to death. As much as he could see it from her too, he still feared rejection. He always feared rejection. A rejection from Alex would kill him. It was safer to love from afar. Yes, he had also long since recognized that he did, in fact, love Alex. He had no way of knowing how deep her feelings were, but he was petrified of the idea that they were no where near as deep. It paralyzed him from talking about it. He could tell that Alex was also apparently not comfortable with the subject either. They both ignored it, danced around the subject. It was as if they believed that if they ignored it long enough it would go away. Bobby was beginning to wonder if it wasn't just getting stronger instead. He also feared that one day he wasn't going to be able to stop himself. He was going to actually kiss her and she wouldn't be ready for it. It would destroy everything that had worked so long to build. Or worse, he would end up doing it in public and the wrong person would see it. Yeah, Bobby realized he was going to have to have a talk he wasn't sure he was ready for.


	10. The Words

Misconduct: Chapter 10

By: The Confused One

A/N: So this chapter is much shorter than I meant. It means this story will have an extra chapter or two. I hope you all enjoy.

Reaching his car and with his mind made up, Bobby pressed number one on his phone and held it, till Alex's cell number popped up. It took a moment, but she finally answered, sort of surprised, "Bobby?"

Bobby smiled at her voice. He responded, "Yeah. Hey. Look, I was wondering… could you come by my place tonight?"

Walking into the major case bullpen, Alex was surprised by his question. She had been planning a surprise for him, but this would work for her. She smiled and sat down at her desk. She answered, "Yeah. Sure. I'll see you tonight then?"

Bobby smiled too. He had begun to worry about her hesitation. He happily replied, "See you tonight then."

Alex hung up. Seeing that no one was in Deakins office but him, Alex got up to go tell him what Hensley had told her and Bobby.

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Getting back to their office, Gregory handed Dennis his food. He filled Dennis in, "I ran into Goren and Eames at the pastry shop. I went ahead and told them."

Dennis nodded. He pointed to the food, "Thanks." Then he pointed to the computer and explained, "I just hope we don't get too many questions about this report."

Gregory, confused, demanded, "What do you mean?"

Dennis shrugged and explained, "Questions like why this didn't end the moment we heard the tape."

Gregory sighed. He got the feeling that Dennis had been a little too honest for his taste in the report. He questioned Dennis further, "What about how they got the tape to begin with?"

Dennis didn't understand Gregory's attitude at all. It was like his dislike for Goren was blinding him from all the facts. Dennis accusingly asked, "What does that matter?"

Gregory, frustrated, argued, "Because it's probably inadmissible and it definitely wasn't taken through the proper channels. They didn't get permission to set up that meeting or tape it."

Dennis dismissed Gregory's worry, "It's over now Greg. No use worrying about it now."

Gregory sighed, again. He was getting a headache. He should have known better than to leave Dennis alone with the report. Gregory added, "When I saw them, they were awfully cozy."

Dennis hit print. He half ignored Gregory's suspicions and half rejected them, "They've been partners for a long time, and I'm sure this has been stressful Greg. Leave them alone."

Gregory had a hard time with that. Even he saw it. There was just something about Goren that plain irritated Gregory. With a sigh, he promised, "I'll back off."

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Alex Eames had waited most of the day for this. When she had called him in the afternoon, he had promised her a nice meal and they had set a time. She smiled. She was truly happy. She loved spending time with Bobby. Though she usually had to try to put certain thoughts out of her head when they spent time together, this included work. She had long since decided she loved Bobby Goren, but she wasn't sure how to tell him. It had to be done just right. She was thinking that maybe tonight was the right night for it to happen. It would be just about perfect.

Alex finally knocked on the door. Bobby smiled as he opened the door. He, of course, thought she looked beautiful. He managed to say, "Hi."

Alex smiled back. She couldn't help but notice how good his cologne smelled. She replied back, "Hi."

Goren just took her in for a moment before remembering that they were still in his doorway. Stepping aside, he invited her in, "Come in."

Bobby helped her out of her coat. Alex almost laughed. Something felt very weird to her. They were… this was way too formal for her taste. It was almost like, a date. She shrugged it off and focused on Bobby who was returning from putting her coat up. She inquired, "Since you seem to be the one planning the evening, you mind filling me in?"

Bobby was nervous. He was doubting again. Forcing it aside, he smiled. He loved it when she joked. He quickly answered, "We'll just see what happens."

Alex smiled and sat down. That hadn't been much of an answer, but she figured she'd find out more as they went along. Something told her he was planning something. She simply answered, "OK."

Bobby took a deep breath. He couldn't chicken out now. He was really beginning to want a drink. Maybe she did too, "Do you want some wine?"

Alex nodded. Wine seemed rather formal, but she'd have some anyway, "Sure. Wine is good."

Bobby smiled. Good. Wine would make this easier. Alex followed him into the kitchen. He announced, "Dinner will be ready in about five minutes."

Alex smiled and nodded. Her curiosity got to her, again. She had to know, "So, what are we having?"

Bobby arched his eyebrows slightly. He wasn't sure he wanted to tell her. Now that he was in the moment, it seemed a little silly… possibly embarrassing. He wasn't sure what her reaction would be. He admitted, "Roast duck."

Alex too the wine glass and laughed. She was sure he wasn't serious. He couldn't possibly be serious. It was way too much. She playfully asked, "You're not serious are you?"

Bobby nodded slightly. He knew it was extravagant, but at the time it had seemed the perfect way to impress her. Now he just felt ridiculous. He hesitantly confessed, "Yeah. It's duck."

Alex stepped back slightly. While she appreciated the effort she didn't understand it. She didn't dare dream it was his way of showing his true feelings. She watched him finish the glass of wine already. She took a sip of hers. Studying him for a moment, she inquired, "Bobby, what is this? What's going on here?"

Bobby sighed. He knew he needed to just come out with it. He began to confess, "I guess. I guess that's why I asked you here tonight. I had an ulterior motive, not just the good news."

Alex face fell. She was in shock. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She heart skipped a beat. Was he really doing this? Was he really the one who was going to start this conversation? She knew it had to happen eventually, but she had always assumed she'd be the one who would have to initiate it. She never dreamed he would. She finally spoke, "I think I know where this is going…"

Bobby was getting agitated now. He was afraid of what she might say. He couldn't let her finish her sentence before he said his peace. He interrupted, "No. I need to say this Alex. I've needed to say it for a while now. I'm in love with you. I love everything about you. Things between us lately have been…"

Alex took a deep breath. She finished her wine now too. The words were out, and she was at a lost, till he got to the end of the sentence. She interrupted his now, "Electric. Bobby, I love you too. I've been feeling it just as much as you have."

That was it. Bobby lost all self-control. Moving towards her, he put his hand in her hair. He pulled her closer. His other hand found itself on the small of her back. The kisses were deep and hungry. They both wanted to stay in that moment for forever.

It was the oven timer that startled them back to reality. They separated and met each others eyes. They laughed. Watching Bobby take the duck out of the oven, Alex smiled. She decided he'd never live this stupid duck down. Watching him carve the duck, she knew she just wanted to enjoy the evening and not worry about where it would lead to. It was going to go where it was going to go. She wasn't going to push anything or stop anything. Thinking too much would ruin it. She was going to have to make sure Bobby didn't think too much either. Getting Goren to stop analyzing and just feel was going to be no easy feat, but Alex set out to do it.


	11. The Next Day

Misconduct: Chapter 11

By: The Confused One

A/N: I hope this chapter isn't too shocking. I promise the next chapter will be up in a couple of days, max. I know everyone will want to know what happens.

Alex smiled as she lazily opened her eyes. She took in the scent of the bed. It smelled of Bobby. She found herself inching further into his embrace. He had his arms wrapped around her protectively. She sighed contentedly.

Alex thought the night before had been perfect. After a picture perfect dinner full of mostly disarming small talk, they had settled on the couch and really talked about their feelings. It was clear they had been in love for a while now. More kissing had led them to his bedroom and bed. Now Alex found herself waking up in his arms. She couldn't think of anywhere she'd rather be.

Alex's movement stirred Bobby. Opening his eyes, he smiled too. Brushing his fingers through her hair, he spoke softly, "Good morning."

Alex smiled even more. Turning to face him, she admitted, "I don't want to get up, ever. I want to stay in this moment forever."

Bobby laughed. That was one of the last things he ever thought he'd hear from Alex Eames. She wasn't the mushy type. He wasn't completely sure how to address it, except to bring her back to reality, "We have to get up though. You're not going to get home, take a shower, change, and get to 1PP on time as it is. You shouldn't be later than you already will be."

Alex smiled. Leaning over, she kissed him. She liked it when he tried to take care of him. It made her feel safe. She appreciated him thinking of her, but she had a surprise for him, "When Deakins found out that they were dropping the charges, he gave me today off. He's assuming he's going to be able to give you your gun and badge back and get us back to work."

Bobby sat up. Pointing at her, he jokingly accused her, "You were planning this weren't you?"

Alex sat up too. She assured him, "I promise I didn't. It just worked out well for us. We can lay here for a while longer."

Alex let her fingers playfully stray below the covers. Reacting, Bobby smiled and offered, "Or other things."

Alex gave him a devilish grin. Pulling her closer, he gave her a deep kiss.

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Dennis sat at his desk, doing paperwork. He looked up at his partner's desk and then at the Captain's closed door. He sighed. He felt a little guilty. Greg was definitely getting a tongue lashing over the Goren case, and Dennis had written the report.

Finally, Greg threw open the Captain's door. Anger was written on his face. Grabbing his jacket, he looked at Dennis and the questioning look he was giving him. Heading Dennis off, Greg announced, "I'm going for a walk."

Dennis sighed again and watched Greg storm off. He decided to let him cool down. He was worried though. Greg's temper was getting the better of him.

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Lying on top of Bobby, Alex murmured, "I think I'm hungry."

Bobby smiled. He agreed, "I am too, but I don't have much here to eat."

Making her way off of Bobby, Alex thought fast. She wasn't going to let their morning be ruined. She pointed to the bathroom and suggested, "Well, then we should take a shower and go to breakfast."

Bobby laughed. He knew what really was going to happen in that bathroom. He warned, "I think it would go faster if we went separately."

Grabbing his hand, she led him to the bathroom, explaining, "But not nearly as much fun."

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Greg found himself at a diner. He was miserable. He had come very close to getting suspended himself. The whole thing pissed him off. He knew Goren's type. They always managed to be up to something, eventually. He was convinced of that. Greg was determined to bring Goren down.

Walking into the diner, Greg took a table in the back. He wanted to think his options and game plan over. He wasn't going to screw this up.

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Bobby and Alex exited the bathroom together, wrapped in towels. Walking to his dresser, he pulled out clean underwear and asked, "Where do you want to go eat?"

Clasping her bra on, Alex suggested, "We should avoid anywhere near 1PP. I'm going to have to wear what I wore yesterday."

Bobby nodded. Putting on a clean pair of jeans, he tried to think of a compromise. He suggested, "Did you want to go by your place and pick some clothes up?"

Alex smiled. She looked around the floor, but couldn't find her underwear. She absently answered Bobby, "Maybe after we eat."

Bobby watched her with amusement. It occurred to him what she was looking for. He pointed to the lamp shade and got her attention, "Alex. I think what you're looking for is over there."

Alex smirked. Walking over to the lampshade, she snatched them up. Putting them on, she warned, "Don't look so amused."

Bobby grinned even more. Putting on a t-shirt, he teased, "You shouldn't be so messy."

Alex put her shirt on. She smiled slightly. Wagging her finger now, she responded, "See, I seem to recall you were the one who took them off in the first place."

Bobby put on his socks. He pretended to stop and think about what she had said. Grinning, he finally agreed, "Yeah. I think you're right. Sorry."

Alex zipped her pants. She picked up her shoe and tossed it beside him on the bed, pretending to be throwing it at him. She picked up her other shoe and her socks and sat down. She got serious and finally answered the question, "Isn't that little diner two blocks over still open?"

Bobby got up and grabbed his wallet and keys. He answered, "Yeah. It is."

Standing up, she shrugged and replied, "Well, it's as good a place as anywhere else."

Bobby nodded. Grabbing their coats and her purse from the closet, they headed out the door.

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Greg sighed. He sat and stewed and stared at the empty plate. He had eaten and was ready to go but no closer to solving his problem. He wasn't sure why he cared so much, but he did. Bobby had gotten under skin, and he was going to see him go down for something, if it was the last thing he did.

Standing up, he put a twenty on the table to cover the food and tip. Heading to the door, he came face to face with an entering Bobby and Alex.

Alex smiled as they walked into the diner. She was asking, "What do you want to do after we eat?"

They both stopped as Greg seethed directly in front of them. Bobby could see the realization on Greg's face. He tried to defuse the moment, "Hensley, hi."

Greg's anger just rose. She was wearing the same thing she had been wearing the day before. He knew where they had just come from. He knew what they had done the night before. He knew it with every bone in his body. He pushed, "We're getting arrogant about this aren't we? We're not even bothering to change clothes now?"

Bobby stepped between Greg and Alex. He knew the brunt of Greg's anger was directed at him anyway. He tried to stay calm, "This is not the place for this. If you want to talk about this, we can, later and at 1PP."

Greg was too angry to back down now. He wasn't going to be listening to any sort of reasoning right then. He hissed, "What? So we don't embarrass her for being a slut?"

Bobby was about to hit him, when Alex grabbed his arm, and found herself between the two men. Facing Bobby, she locked eyes with him. She calmed him, "Don't give him ammunition." Turning to face Greg, she cracked, "And you need to back off. Make an appointment to see us. We can explain this. Right this second, this is not your business."

Coals burned in Greg's eyes. He spat back, "It is my business."

Alex, frustrated, sighed. She just wanted him to walk away, for now. She argued, "The hell it is."

Greg wasn't about to walk away now. He continued arguing, "It's my job to get irresponsible, arrogant, and sloppy cops off the force."

Bobby confrontationally yelled back, "It's your job to look into allegations of misconduct. If you want to file something or look into us, go ahead. The worst that will happen is we're going to be reassigned new partners."

Furious, Greg pulled his gun. Seeing red, he yelled above the screams, "You'll get worse if I can help it."

Bobby tried to shield Alex now. This was spinning out of control and fast. His mind was spinning, and he regretted, more than anything, that last dig. He demanded, "Put the gun down Hensley!"

Alex, desperate to get things ratcheted back down, found herself in front of Bobby again and tried to reason with Greg, "Look, we can go now. We can have all of this out if you want."

Greg, in a rage, yelled, "It won't make a difference!" He then fired.

Alex gasped and fell backwards. Bobby caught her instantly. Officers were suddenly rushing in and swarming the restaurant. Everything was surreal for him. He helped Alex to the ground. Grabbing a napkin sitting on the hostess pedestal, he instinctively applied pressure to her wound. Her head was in his lap. Realizing officers were coming into the room, he stopped watching Greg. Greg no matter mattered to Bobby Goren. Shaking he tried to apply pressure. He shakily shouted, "Someone get an ambulance!"

Greg continued to back away from the cops with guns drawn. He held his gun to his own head. The severity and reality of what he had done hit him. He sobbed now. The cops demanded he put his gun down. He shook his head and fired. Greg's lifeless body fell to the floor.

An officer bent down to check on Bobby and Alex. Bobby met his eyes and reiterated his command of earlier, "She needs an ambulance."

The officers assured Bobby, "It's on its way."

Bobby nodded and focused on Alex. He blocked out and ignored everything else. She was all that mattered. He tried to push harder on her wound. It made Alex grunt. He didn't push any harder. He talked to her frantically trying to keep her conscious, "I'm sorry. But it's going to be OK. You're going to be OK. Don't talk, just listen. I love you, OK. We're supposed to a lot more mornings like this one. So you have to fight. You have to live. I need you. I don't care how selfish that sounds. Stay with me."

Alex breathed shallowly. She was suddenly cold. She knew it was bad. She could see it on Bobby's face. She wanted to rub his cheek, but she found she didn't have the energy. She settled for trying to reassure him, "I love you too Bobby. I'll be OK. I promise. I'm not going to leave you."

Bobby held back his tears. He wasn't going to cry. He couldn't cry in front of her. It would worry her too much. He looked at the officer again, and demanded, "What's taking so long?"

The officer stumbled out, "They're coming. It's rush hour."

Bobby avoided commenting. He didn't give a damn about rush hour at that moment. All he knew was that Alex needed a doctor. He flirted with the idea of scooping her up and taking off for the hospital himself, but he deduced she was loosing too much blood to make it. He continued to talk to her. He choked out, "Just hang on Baby. Hold onto last night. We're going to have more of that."

Alex tried to smile. It had been perfect. She tried to agree, "I was perfect, even the duck. I'm sorry Bobby."

Bobby shook his head. Biting back tears again, he insisted, "Don't be sorry. You're doing good. You'll be OK."

Alex found it increasingly impossible to keep her eyes open. It was an instant of clarity. She suddenly knew she wasn't going to be OK. As she slipped into unconsciousness, she breathed out, "I love you Bobby."

Bobby began to panic. He tried to call to her, "Alex! Alex! Stay awake."

The paramedics started to rush in. They began pushing Bobby and the other officer out of the way, Bobby explained, "She was awake till just now."

One of the paramedics looked at Bobby. He asked, "She was responsive."

Fighting back the tears, still, Bobby elaborated, "Yeah. She was talking. I was trying to get the bleeding to stop."

Another paramedics called out, "I have a weak but erratic pulse. Let's get her into the truck."

Following them out, Bobby explained, "I'm her partner. I need to go with her."

The paramedic looked him over and nodded. He agreed, "You can come. Let's go."


	12. Dead or Alive?

Misconduct: Chapter 12

By: The Confused One

A/N: Well, we're reaching the end, so I hope you've enjoyed the story so far. It's about to take a dark turn. And you have to remember, I set this story shortly after Alex had the baby. ITWSH hasn't happened in this story. Just thought I'd remind everyone of where we are in the timeline of the series. Of course, this story sort of changes things.

Pacing, Bobby didn't even notice Deakins walking into the waiting room with Carver. Hearing his name, Bobby looked up to meet the worried looks of Deakins and Carver. Bobby stammered, "Her... Her family is, on their way."

Deakins nodded. He could literally see the pain radiating from Bobby. He didn't like the look of his clothes either. They were covered with blood. He tried to assure Bobby, "She's going to make it. She's a fighter."

Bobby continued to pace and absently nodded. He heard Deakins, but the words didn't really register. His head was swimming. He felt lost, and he couldn't let his brain engage yet. Thinking would make it real. Bobby wasn't prepared for that. He had to know she was going to be OK first.

Barely getting a reaction, Deakins was starting to really worry. He followed Carver's lead and sat down. It might be best to just let Bobby pace. He seemed to need to. He surmised that the perpetual motion was what was keeping Bobby from falling apart. He tried to reach out to Bobby again, "Whatever happens, I'm going to keep IA and whoever else gets involved away from you for a few days."

Bobby finally stopped. Facing Deakins and Carver, Bobby laughed bitterly. He didn't give a damn about anyone or anything but Alex at that moment. Their new relationship was about to come out in a horrible way now. Nothing Deakins did or didn't do was going to stop the train wreck that was about to happen. Bobby cryptically admitted as much, "It doesn't matter. It's going to come out anyway."

Carver didn't like the implications that could be inferred from Bobby's last statement. He finally ventured, "You want to tell us what happened?"

Bobby shook his head. No, he didn't want to tell them how things had changed between him and Alex. He knew he'd have to though. There wouldn't be any getting around it, eventually. He wished they didn't have to know. He just wanted to protect her from that, till she was better. He wouldn't believe she wasn't going to make it. He couldn't believe anything else. He found himself explaining anyway, "This thing with Jennifer Irving changed things between us."

Deakins leaned his head back and groaned. He knew what that meant. He felt a sudden headache coming on. It was one of his greatest fears. Hearing Bobby say those words were like a nightmare coming true, only made worse by the idea that Alex was in an operating room holding on by a thread. He finally asked, "How long?"

Bobby laughed bitterly. He resumed pacing and refused to acknowledge the irony as he explained, "Last night. We went to breakfast this morning. She was. She was wearing the same clothes. It. It provoked Hensley. It escalated fast and got out of control. God, it's all my fault."

Carver shook his head. He argued, "This was not your fault. You can't control the people around you."

Bobby stopped again. Staring at Carver, he insisted, "I provoked him when I should have backed off. I should have seen it. I pushed him, and he snapped. I let her stand in front of me. It should be me in there."

It was in that moment that Karen Eames, Alex's mother, marched into the waiting room. It was clear from the look on her face that she had heard at least some of the conversation. She angrily yelled at Bobby, "You say one more thing about being responsible for this, and I'll beat you senseless. It shouldn't be you in there either."

Bobby stared at Karen for a long moment. He couldn't believe she was saying these things. He couldn't understand how she couldn't and didn't blame him. He had promised her and John he'd take care of their little girl. He had failed at that spectacularly. He watched as the rest of her family came trouping into the room. He finally, feeling defeated, whispered, "I'm so sorry."

Approaching Bobby, John Eames pulled Bobby into a bear hug. He whispered, "Don't blame yourself. You didn't do this to her."

Before anyone could say anything else, a tired doctor appeared at the door. The look on his face was grim at best. He sighed and delivered the news, "The bullet managed to get lodged in her rib cage. The damage was too extensive. She lost too much blood. I'm so sorry. We weren't able to save her."

Bobby watched in devastated shock as Karen Eames leaned into her husband sobbing. Bobby watched the rest of her family too. Alex was the oldest of four. Her brother Jake was a year and a half younger. James was two years younger than Jake, and Angela was a year younger than James. He watched Angie's husband hold her as she cried. James and Jake leaned on their girlfriends. Bobby stood alone. He suddenly had an extreme desire to leave. Emotions were beginning to surface, the truth was beginning to sink in, and Bobby panicked. He felt he was intruding where he had no right. He had failed Alex and her family. Without another word he left, purposely avoiding eye contact.

Karen Eames closed her eyes and watched him go. She knew he needed a little space. Noticing John was about to call after him, she stopped him, "Don't. He's feeling guilty and in a lot of pain. He loved our Alex. He needs a little space from us."

Carver had been sitting in shock. Never in his wildest dreams had he expected this. Bobby leaving had finally stirred him. He felt this overwhelming desire to see his wife. Meeting Jake's eyes, he apologized, "I'm so sorry. Alex Eames was a great woman."

Jake nodded and immediately recognized the ADA. He revealed, "Alex liked you. She thought you were a decent honorable man who was fair, most of the time."

Carver nodded. He appreciated the compliment from Alex, knowing as well as anyone Alex didn't compliment often or lightly. He headed for the door and replied, "Thank you."

Deakins hugged Karen. He had known the Eames family for many years now, and offered, "I loved her like family. She wasn't just the more reasonable half of my best pair of detectives. If there is anything you need… don't hesitate to call me or Cheryl."

John nodded, taking in Deakins words. He finally spoke, "Thank you Jimmy. We'll let you know."

Deakins nodded this time. He meant what he had said. Looking at the grieving parents, he shuttered at the thought of being in their place. Thinking, he knew what the first thing he would do for them would be. He assured them, "Don't worry about Goren. I'll make sure he's alright."

Karen nodded. She agreed, "Please do. Thank you. I'm not sure he'd see us. He needs to know we're here for him. Please tell him to call. Together maybe we can get through this. These last years he's been partnered with Alex have brought him into our family, and Alex truly loved him. I could see it in her eyes. He loved her too. He should be with us. We need to grieve together."

Deakins nodded. He understood perfectly. He also knew it was going to take some doing to get Bobby to cooperate. He could be difficult on good days, and Deakins was sure that today was Bobby's worst nightmare. Fighting back his own tears, Deakins went in search of Bobby Goren.

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Walking into the apartment, Bobby closed his eyes and took in the scent. It was Alex. He'd never forget how she smelled in the mornings when she picked him up. Choking back tears, Bobby wondered if coming here hadn't been a very bad idea. He stayed anyway. He couldn't bring himself to leave. Walking into her room, he smiled slightly. It had been just like he pictured it, beautiful and feminine, just like her.

He wasn't sure what had possessed him to come to her apartment, but he guessed it was the overwhelming need to be near her, close to her. This was the closest he'd ever be again.

Sitting down on her bed, he opened the drawer to her nightstand. Looking inside, he was thrown a little. The only thing in it was a little but thick red notebook of some kind. Taking it out, he realized it was her diary. He stared at it for a long moment, wresting between his desire to put it back and respect her privacy even in death and reading it. He finally pulled up his feet and laid back on her bed and opened it, curiosity finally winning out.

The diary was thick, and he noted she had started it as a teenager. He knew what date he wanted though. Turning to day they had met, he began reading.

_Well, I met the great Bobby Goren today. He's 6' 3" to my measly 5'2" and has to be the strangest man I've ever met. I don't think he even remembered I existed most of the day. This is going to be so much fun. I have my work cut out for me. Deakins swears he'll get better. He better be right. I've only got so much patience._

_Our first crime scene was a jewelry heist. The thieves broke into the store using the apartment next door, and they left four bodies behind. Goren, of course, promised the family we'd catch these guys. Jackass. It's as if he doesn't remember how hard it can be to crack a robbery like this one. We'll see though. I hope he's right, but we have our work cut out for us. I don't understand how he can be so sure._

He smiled slightly. That was his Eames. She never held back. He flipped ahead a couple of pages.

_That's it! I've had it! I can no longer work with that man. He's arrogant and a snob! He's constantly leaving me out of the loop, and I swear he's crazy. Lying to that girl was the last straw. I requested a new partner. I can't work with him._

Bobby was a little thrown. She had never said a word. He closed his eyes, knowing that unless she explained in later entries he'd never know why she took it back and why she had never told him. He was torn between his relief and happiness that she had stayed and his pain and belief that she'd still be alive if she had left and that gut feeling mattered more to him than his own personal happiness. He flipped the page and read on.

_He was right. Goren was right about that the girl. Maybe he is weird and it was unethical, but it got results, right? Can I work like that? I asked the Captain to hold off on my request for a new partner till I can decide. There is something about him. Every time I'm ready to give up on him and this partnership, he does something to make me hold off._

He read the next page.

_He included me. Goren is letting me in, inch by inch. I think he's opening up. I asked the Captain to scrap the letter. I'm going to give him another chance. I don't give up that easily. He better not blow it though. My mother keeps saying be patient. My father keeps telling me to cut him some slack. Jake says he's worried about me being paired with him. He's heard the rumors, but he's never met Goren. He's not as bad as the rumors make him out to be. I should know. I heard them all too. Angie is too distracted by the wedding and Brad to give advice. James is still out of the country on business, so he's not much help, either._

Bobby flipped ahead. He wanted away from the rocky beginning of their relationship.

_Bobby is leaning on Croyden. He's insistent. It's like he's possessed and won't listen. I'm terrified for him. He's spinning out of control, and I'm not sure what to do. I'm not sure I can hold him together much longer. On top of this, Angie and Brad had me for dinner tonight and asked me to be a surrogate for them! As if things at work need that stress. I don't know what to do._

Bobby kept going.

_Nicole killed Croyden to get at Bobby. It finally brought him back to reality. I finally have him calmed down and focused. Nicole is the vilest person I've ever met. She better burn in hell for what she's put Bobby through. Sometimes, like now, I just wish I could make everything he had to go through as a child go away. I was afraid she was going to win. I was afraid she was going to destroy him, and I wasn't going to be enough. He needs grounding often. It's not easy, being someone's rock._

Bobby took in a shallow breath. He hadn't completely really realized the depth of her worry during the whole fiasco. He flipped back, looking for the first time she wrote his name as Bobby, not Goren.

_Me: She was attacked by a shark?_

_Goren: Sharks don't have scales._

_Me: Rolls eyes._

_The man needs a sense of humor stat. He's brilliant, and I like him, most days, but he needs a funny bone. I guess it's something else I'll have to teach him._

Bobby smiled slightly, remembering the conversation. It hadn't occurred to him that she had been joking, till later. He flipped forward some.

_Bobby and I met Wally Stevens today. He's, different. At least he gave us some useful information. I had to open my big mouth afterwards though. I made a joke about Stevens being Bobby's brother. He smiled, and I thought I was brilliant. Little did I know what he would tell me. He told me more about his brother. God, he's been through so much. I feel honored that he trusts me enough to talk to me like he does._

Bobby sighed. He remembered that conversation too. He hadn't meant to lay so much on her at once. He suppose he had been holding it in too long. He flipped back a little, again.

_I was right, unfortunately. I got Bobby to have some drinks me with me, and it was like the flood gates opened. He's had quite the troubled life. His mother is schizophrenic. His father ran out on him and his older brother. His father, apparently, slept around a lot too. Bobby said he doesn't talk to his brother. He wasn't keen on giving details. My heart aches for him right now. Bobby Goren is a good man who doesn't deserve these horrible things. I should invite him to meet my family. I know they'd love him. Bobby is quite charming. He needs something to hold onto. Maybe me and my family could be what he needs._

Bobby knew he had found the page he had been looking for. It was the first time she had called him Bobby out loud too. He frowned though at the sentiment. She had been right. Even he recognized Eames' family had been good for him. Now he couldn't even face them. He idly flipped ahead in the diary.

_Wow, that was easy. I don't think my family has taken to anyone as fast as they've taken to Bobby. My plan to draw Bobby back out of his shell worked. I'm sure Mom will invite him herself to the barbe-q on the fourth. I should have dragged him to a family function back when I first thought of it. I guess I'll have to talk to him about the pregnancy before that. I hope it's the right thing to do._

Bobby smiled slightly. He hadn't meant to turn to that entry, but he's glad he read it. He flipped ahead, knowing which date he wanted.

_Bobby came slinking into my hospital room after hours tonight. He stared at me a long moment, before I got tired of it and told him to sit. I scared him, I think. It made me laugh. He started talking, babbling really, about this case he and Bishop had just finished. I think the one thing that made sense was when he said he needed me and missed me. I could have cried. I reassured him I would be back. He seemed to need it, but something happened. I don't know what's going on in my head, in my heart, but I do know I can't get him out of either. Is it guilt? Something else? Do I want to know?_

Bobby was curious now. This had been where things had changed for her. She had said as much the night before. He wondered when she realized it. Flipping forward a few pages, he read.

_I think I figured it out. I love Bobby Goren, my partner! It finally hit me today when we were working. We were at Marion Whitney's home to tell her about her husband. She didn't seem to even care. He's still trying to figure her out. Anyway, when she left some music was playing. I did my usual snark to get that smile I love so much to form on his face, but after he smiled, he did this adorable little dance. That's when I placed that feeling, that thing that had happened in my hospital room. It's like suddenly everything is clear. I love him. I probably have for a while now. Course, I don't have a clue what to do about this. I mean, the department has a no fraternization policy, and I have no idea how deep his feelings are for me. I'm so overwhelmed. I didn't think, after Jack, I'd ever love anyone again. I definitely never wanted to fall for another cop. Losing him was way too hard. Knowing Bobby, I'm the one who is going to have to figure this out. I'm the one who is going to have to deal with this._

Bobby closed his eyes. It wasn't fair. They should be curled up eating ice cream and watching a movie. Bobby read another page.

_I miss Dillon. God help me, a part of me wishes he was mine. I don't want to take him from Angie and Brad. I'd never even consider that, but I feel so empty. Sometimes, like right this second, it hits me. I want to reach out to someone. I want to talk to Bobby, but I can't bring myself to call him. Things are complicated enough in my head right now. Do I really want to bring those feelings into this? I'm such a mess. I need him right now. Whatever I feel for him can just take a backseat. I need someone to talk to, and I know he's still up._

He smiled again. She had been right. He had been up. The banging on the door brought him out of his thoughts. He could hear Deakins yelling, "Bobby, I know you're in there. Please talk to me. Let me in."

Bobby momentarily considered ignoring him, but he decided against that action. It wouldn't end well. With a sigh, he got up, put the diary in his notebook, trotted to the door, and unlocked it. He didn't wait for Deakins to open the door. Bobby walked straight back into her room. He heard Deakins come in and lock the door back.

The diary had given Bobby an idea. He got down on the floor and looked under her bed. He smiled slightly. He was right. Pulling out the box and opening it, Bobby began sifting through the photos. He heard Deakins walk into the room and sit down on the bed. Bobby explained, "There's a picture of her as a little girl that captures her perfectly. It was always my favorite."

Deakins stared at Bobby, and the photos that Bobby was placing on the floor. He was worried but finally ventured, "Everyone is worried about you. Karen Eames wants you to call her. She wants to talk to you."

Bobby decided to ignore the comment. He wasn't in a place to talk to Alex's mother, and he didn't want to get into. He smiled slightly. He found the picture he was looking for. Bobby continued to explain, "This is the one. The smile on her face was perfect. She always hated this one. I always loved it. She told me once to take it, I refused at the time. I didn't think it was a good idea."

Deakins was really worried now. Bobby hadn't even acknowledged his words. He tried again, "Bobby. Talk to me, not at me."

Bobby finally turned slightly and looked at Deakins. He explained, "I keep thinking about everything that happened the last few weeks. I play every time I could have and should have dome something different. I could have stopped this."

Deakins rubbed his face with his hand. He was afraid of this. Bobby was turning in on himself and completely blaming himself. Deakins insisted, "You can't do that. You can't blame yourself. It was not your fault. You're going to make yourself crazy if you don't see that."

Bobby put his hand up dismissively. He knew that already. He knew he couldn't keep thinking the way he was. He needed her right then. She always knew how to get his head on straight. And how was that for irony? Turning back to the photos, he began putting the photos back. He finally spoke, "She trusted me to protect her. I failed her. He had it in for me not her."

Deakins nodded slightly. He reached out to his detective, "You had no control over that man, and Alex did not expect you to be taking bullets for her."

Bobby shoved the box back under the bed. He avoided looking at Deakins and shot back, "She took that bullet for me."

Deakins took a deep breath. This was getting old real fast. He spoke firmly, "Because she loved you."

Bobby smiled slightly. He cocked his head to the side and eyed his Captain. He teased, "You say that like it's a curse or something."

Deakins smiled too. There was the Goren he knew. He explained, "No. It's not a curse. Give me a break Goren. This isn't easy for me either. I loved her too, and the two of you getting together was the sort of thing I've had nightmares about."

Bobby arched his eyebrows. He sarcastically replied, "Sorry. Well, I guess you don't have to worry about that anymore."

Deakins' eyes snapped to Bobby's. He raised his voice, "Bobby."

Bobby put his hand up dismissively and stood. He knew he was wrong and conceded, "I'm sorry. That was. I just. I can't imagine anything without her."

Deakins nodded. He suggested, "I know. Look, you need to go home, take a shower, and call John and Karen Eames before crashing."

Bobby looked around the room, and then looked at the picture again. He hesitantly admitted, "I'm not sure I want to leave. It's leaving all that is left of her."

Deakins closed his eyes. He knew he really needed to get Bobby out of her apartment. He insisted, "You need to go home Goren."

Bobby nodded again. He knew Deakins was right. It brought him closer to Alex to be there, but he needed to go. Coming had probably been a mistake to begin with. With a sigh, he agreed, "Alright. I'll go."

Deakins stood and watched Bobby prepare to leave. He wasn't going to leave him there. He'd probably end up continuing to stay, and Deakins concluded that this apartment was the last thing he needed. He wordlessly followed Bobby out of the apartment, and reassured him, "I'll see you at the funeral."

Bobby huffed and replied, "Right."

Deakins watched as Bobby got into his car and drove away. He sighed. He knew things weren't going to be getting better any time in the near future.


	13. New Beginning

Misconduct: Chapter 13

By: The Confused One

A/N: Well, this is it folks. This is the last chapter. I decided to make it all fit. Hopefully, you'll like the ending. Let me know. Please.

Walking into his apartment, Bobby gasped slightly. He could still smell the perfume Alex had worn the night before. He closed his eyes and remembered walking to his bedroom with her. Putting his things down on couch, he followed his memories. Staring at the bed, he crawled into the bed, where she had been. Taking in her scent that still lingered, he broke down and cried.

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Bobby sat on his bed staring at the pictures he had of her, including the one he had taken from her apartment. The diary sat to his side. He jumped when someone banged on the front door. Irritated, he yelled, "Go away!"

The voice outside yelled back, "I'm not going anywhere till you let me in, Robert Goren!"

He closed his eyes and cursed himself. He had yelled at Karen Eames. He had yelled at Alex's mother. He finally got up and went to the door. He opened it up and apologized, "I'm sorry."

It had been three days, and Karen had decided she was going to have to make Bobby talk to her. She almost gasped at the sight of him. It was obvious that he hadn't slept since he had come home. He was still in the same blood stained clothes he had been in when she had seen him at the hospital, and he smelled quite ripe. His usual stubble was becoming a full beard. She deduced from those things he hadn't eaten either. Shaking her head, she pushed in past him. She explained, "We need to talk, but you march into your room and take a shower and change first. I'll have food waiting."

It was then that it occurred to Bobby to look down at his clothes. For the first time he noticed the blood. He could only wonder why he hadn't noticed it before. With a nod, he wordlessly marched into his bathroom. He wasn't going to argue with Karen Eames, and he most definitely now knew he didn't want to stay in these clothes.

It took almost an hour, but Bobby finally made his way out of his bedroom. He was clean, shaven, and in new clothes. Karen nodded her approval and placed a plate that had a grilled cheese sandwich and chips on it in front of him when he sat down. Pouring him some orange juice, she finally spoke, "I want to talk about Alex."

Bobby slowly broke his sandwich apart. He noticed the hand putting the juice down. He might be, momentarily, in the real world again, but he wasn't hungry. He knew he needed to eat, and he made an effort, but he didn't feel the hunger. He felt nothing really. He deliberately kept from looking at Karen. He finally mumbled, "Alright."

Karen eyed him warily. She was extremely worried. She ventured forward, "Some decisions still need to be made. I want you involved."

Bobby finally looked up and met her eyes. He was surprised and confused that she was asking. He finally asked, "Why?"

Karen sat down, across from him, now. She was irritated and explained, "She loved you. You loved her. We don't want to push you out, and absolutely no one blames you for this but you. A lot of people are hurting here, not just you. It helps though to know you're not alone. It helps to be with people who cared too. Please, stop hiding from us. Come stay with John and I."

Bobby sighed and looked back down at his food. He finally replied, "I don't know what I could do."

Karen nodded. He sidestepped her offer. She knew what that meant. She let it drop and focused on what he was willing to talk about, "We set the funeral for tomorrow at ten am at the old St. Catherine's Church. We want you to speak, if you want to."

Bobby met her eyes again. He wanted to honor Alex. He decided he had to do it. He nodded slowly and agreed, "Yeah, I can do that."

Karen nodded. She accepted his words and continued, "We are going to go through her apartment in a couple of days. You should come. She'd want you to have things."

Bobby swallowed some of his sandwich. He momentarily debated telling her about the picture and the diary. He finally admitted, "I went to her apartment after I left the hospital. I already took a couple of things."

Karen nodded slightly. She knew he hadn't taken anything she'd object to him having. It was something she just knew. She pushed him to come though, "Come anyway. There may be something else. Please."

Bobby took a deep breath and swallowed a chip. He agreed, "OK."

Karen, relieved, replied, "Good."

Bobby stared at his food again. He was feeling guilty and the need to explain, "It was a picture and her diary."

Karen was slightly surprised. She had forgotten Alex kept a diary. After a moment, she found her courage and asked, "Can I see her diary?"

Bobby stopped. He wasn't sure about that. He wasn't sure he wanted her to see it. He was embarrassed by what he did. He just knew she'd find the entry he had added. Meeting her eyes, he saw her need to see it. He sighed and nodded. He quickly went to retrieve it from his bed.

Handing it to her, he replied, "It was almost full."

Karen nodded. She absently flipped to where Bobby least wanted her to go to, the end. She was startled to see handwriting that wasn't Alex's. Looking at Bobby, she realized from how he had his head down and the embarrassment on his face that he had written it.

It was dated the day she died,

_I thought her diary needed an ending. Alex died this afternoon, from a bullet meant from me. The psychotic who shot her was out to get me. I'll never forgive myself._

_I guess I should write about her last couple of days. She never had the chance. Deakins and Alex went to see Hensley and Huffines. They played them the tape. When Alex and I were at breakfast, Hensley told us I was getting off on the charges._

_Thinking I was brilliant, I invited her over that night. She did paperwork all day. She always hated paperwork. I served duck, and we finally talked. I told her that I loved her, and she said she loved me. They were words I never thought I'd hear from her. I'll always love her. She was the best thing to ever happen to me. It was the most perfect evening I've ever had. She was happy. We ended up in my bed._

_We woke up together once. I convinced her we had to face the world. We went for breakfast. Hensley, the psychotic, saw us. She was wearing the same thing she had worn the day before. He lost it and shot her, then himself. Nothing will ever be the same._

Karen looked at Bobby, who was trying to focus on his food. She touched his shoulder and whispered, "It will get easier, for all of us."

Bobby shook his head. Meeting her eyes again, he was honest, "Not for me. She's a part of me. Losing her has ripped me in half."

Karen closed his eyes and took his hand. She tried to comfort him, "She'll always be apart of you. She'll always be with all of us. What would she say right now, if she were here?"

Bobby smiled for what was probably the first time that day. He answered, "In so many words, she'd tell me she loved me, but I can't hide in my apartment. It wasn't my fault. I have to take care of myself, and I have to move on."

Karen took her hand off his and nodded. She knew he was right. She was relieved to see he was clear headed enough to know that. She was about to speak when someone knocked on the door.

Bobby sighed and got up. Opening the door, he was surprised to see Dennis. Just looking at him, Bobby could feel the rage and pain bubbling inside him. He almost liked it. It was one of the first times he had truly felt much of anything in days. He began to slam the door in Dennis' face, saying, "I never ever want to see you again."

Dennis stopped the door. He understood and figured he probably shouldn't be there, but he couldn't help himself. He spoke quickly, "I realize I'm the last person you want to see right now, but this isn't a social visit." Dennis was relieved to see Bobby stop. Seeing the confusion, he continued on, "Brier and Lincoln have this case. I heard they were coming by, and I asked to come with them. I'm extremely sorry Goren. There are no words to describe how horrible I feel about what happened. If you need any help with these guys, you can come to me. I'll back up whatever you want me to say about Greg. Just let me know. I'm not staying. I promise. I'll let them know they can come up now."

Bobby stood in shock. Dennis Huffines wasn't just offering to lie for him, was he? Shaking the notion Bobby mentally tried to prepare himself to get grilled. He had forgotten Karen was even there till she asked, "Who was that?"

Without looking back, Bobby choked back his anger. He curtly answered, "IA. Detective Dennis Huffines. He and his partner investigated the whole Jennifer Irving thing. It was his partner…"

Karen listened as Bobby trailed off. She choked back her own anger. She could guess the rest of the sentence. She wanted to go yell at Dennis herself when two more detectives appeared at the open door. She watched as Bobby stayed standing, almost guarding his door. One of the detectives introduced himself, "I'm detective Bryer, and this is my partner Detective Lincoln."

Bobby silently nodded and moved to let them in. He finally looked at Karen and suggested, "I'll be OK. You don't need to hear this. You should go home and be with John. I won't be late to the funeral."

Karen looked him over and decided he was right. She sighed, grabbed her things, nodded, and left.

Turning his attention back to the two detectives, he explained, "That was her mother. She came by to let me know when the funeral was and to check on me."

Lincoln nodded. Sitting down, he got down to business, "It's fine. We have some questions about what happened."

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Bobby closed the door and stumbled to his liquor cabinet. That was when the phone rang. Angrily he picked it up, "Goren."

Deakins quickly replied, "I wanted to warn you. I couple of IA guys are headed to your place."

Bobby closed his eyes and sighed. Looking at the closed and locked front door, he agitatedly replied, "Little late."

Deakins leaned back in his chair and groaned. He apologized, "I'm sorry Bobby. I didn't mean for them to surprise you like that."

Bobby waved dismissively. He poured a glass of vodka and replied, "Its fine. I'll see you tomorrow."

Bobby hung up the phone and gulped down some of the vodka. Putting down the glass, he headed to his room. He just wanted to sleep for forever maybe. The phone ringing again earned it a death glare. Picking it up, he angrily answered, "Goren."

Lewis could tell Bobby was definitely not doing well. He took a deep breath and spoke, "I'm sorry Bobby. I just heard."

Bobby closed his eyes and sat down. He took a deep breath and replied, "Thanks Lewis. I'm sorry about... It hasn't been an easy day."

Lewis swallowed. He had been friends with Bobby for a long time, and he knew more about him than most. Lewis didn't think this was fair at all. Alex was one of the few people in Bobby's life who hadn't left on him. Lewis was one of the few others. He tried to respond, "Its fine. Look, how about I bring a couple of cases of beer and we drink till we pass out."

Bobby snorted. As appealing an idea as that was to Bobby, he knew better, "We can't do that Lewis. Her funeral is tomorrow morning at ten at St. Catherine's. I just. I want to go to bed."

Lewis understood exactly. He agreed, "Alright. She was a great woman Bobby. I'll see you tomorrow."

Bobby hung up the phone again. He knew what Lewis had meant by 'see you tomorrow'. Lewis was going to be at the funeral. Bobby surprised himself by being glad. This time he was able to make it to his bed. He crashed and was asleep in minutes.

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Bobby was getting ready to leave. The one thing he wasn't going to do was be late to her funeral. Lord knows, he could at least get that right. He hadn't done much else right lately. Opening the door to leave, he was surprised to see Deakins and his wife, Cheryl, standing at the door. Deakins was about to knock. Getting over the surprise, Bobby locked his apartment door and greeted them, "Hi."

Deakins took a deep breath. He was a little relieved. Bobby didn't look as bad as he had feared. Deakins responded in kind, "Hi. We thought you might want to ride with us."

Bobby nodded. He suppressed his inclination to wallow in his pain and push them away. He reminded himself, they're trying to help. He agreed, "Sure." Following them to their car, Bobby decided to pry a little, "You didn't need to do this. I promised Mrs. Eames I'd get there, and I wasn't about to not show."

Getting into the car, Deakins sighed and conceded, "We wanted to make sure you were OK and weren't going to be late. Karen called last night, and after I talked to you, we were worried."

Bobby took a deep breath. He continued to try not to be mad. He tried to point out, "I wasn't going to be late. I can make it to a funeral."

Deakins glanced through the mirror at Bobby. He replied, "Don't do that Bobby. We're just trying to help."

Bobby leaned back in the car and closed his eyes. He relented, "I know. I'm sorry."

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Bobby stopped at the doors. Going in meant saying goodbye to Alex. She was really gone. He wasn't sure he was prepared for that. She was never coming back. He'd never see her smile again. He'd never hear her say his name again.

Cheryl, realizing Bobby wasn't with them anymore, turned and faced him. Seeing the look on his face, she hesitated, "Bobby?"

Deakins turned and faced Bobby too. He took control. Walking over to Bobby, he quietly asked, "Can you do this?"

Bobby suddenly looked at Deakins. Realizing what Deakins was asking, he nodded slowly. He could do this. He had to do this. He had no choice. He was going to get through this. She deserved this much, no matter how much pain it caused him. He silently followed Jimmy and Cheryl Deakins into the church.

Looking around, Bobby approved. It was a beautiful church, and it was probably one of the few Bobby hadn't been in for a case or personal reason. He saw Alex's family all huddled together in the middle of the isles. He met Angie's eyes. She walked over and hugged him. She whispered, "We'll get through this."

Bobby nodded. She took his hand and led him to the rest of the family, not noticing Cheryl and Jimmy had taken seats.

It only took a few more minutes before the church started filling up. He recognized most of the people. There were cops from vice, their whole squad, and plenty of personal friends of Alex's. Karen Eames squeezed his hand and led him to a seat beside her. Jake sat on the other side of him.

It was an excruciating hour for Bobby. When it had been his turn to speak, he spoke elegantly but shakily, "Even if I started now, I'd never even begin to cover everything I loved about Alex in this lifetime and possibly any other. I can honestly say she was the best thing that ever happened to me. Both of our lives have had their share of pain. Maybe that's why we worked. We understood each other. We cut each other slack. She was the most patient and understanding person I've… ever met. God knows, I gave her plenty of reasons to leave. She never did. Maybe putting up with me was her greatest accomplishment. She held her own with me. She was better than me. I loved her, and I'm going to miss her for the rest of my life."

Bobby felt like the burial itself seemed to take just as long. He still couldn't believe it was happening. He was really burying Alex. Bobby stood over the casket that was slowly being covered by dirt. He simply stared. He felt like he was probably pretty lucky so far. They hadn't told him to move, yet.

Lewis finally walked up beside Bobby. He had liked Alex a lot, but Bobby had made it clear from the beginning that Alex was off limits. She was his. Lewis had spent the last few years teasing Bobby and threatening to ask her out, just to get the inevitable rise out of his best friend. Lewis finally put his arm around Bobby's shoulder. He wasn't sure if his presence had even registered with Bobby. He was worried about Bobby. Lewis finally spoke, "Come on Bobby. Let's go back to my place."

Bobby shook his head. Then he stood stone still again. He finally whispered, "What am I going to do without her Lewis?"

Lewis stood silent for a moment, searching for the right words. He finally settled with, "You give it a few more days, but then you pick up the pieces Bobby. Go back to work, get back into life. It's what she would want you to do. You can't do anything else. You have to move on and live your life. Take it a day at a time."

Bobby shook his head absently. He closed his eyes and replied, "Maybe. Look, take me to my place Lewis. Please."

Lewis nodded. He wasn't going to argue. He surmised anywhere was probably better than standing in front of her grave indefinitely.

Bobby felt Lewis let go of him. Taking another look at the casket, he turned and followed Lewis to the car.

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It had nearly been another month. He had only left the apartment once since the funeral, to go to Alex's apartment with her family. He had taken the Santa mug, some more pictures mostly of them, and a couple of other small things that meant something to him because they had been important to Alex. The only person he let into the apartment anymore was Karen. Even she could only get in every couple of days, which was just about the only time he ate. If she could find his keys, she would have confiscated them already, so no one had to worry about him not letting them in. The super had been no help in this matter. He refused to give them keys, open the door most days, or allow them to break down the door. Everyone's hands were tied there. It wasn't a police investigation, so they couldn't force him to give them access.

Deakins hadn't been able to get him to let him. He had told Bobby he had a new partner lined up for him when he decided to show up, but he needed him to come back soon. Bobby hadn't been interested in listening to too much of it.

Lewis couldn't get in either. He figured Bobby had managed to just about completely shut down. He was terrified they were about to lose him for good. They were all about at their wits ends and ready to bust in and drag him to psych ward for some serious help. No one wanted to do it to him though, but they, obviously, weren't getting through. Something was going to have to be done soon.

It was this way, when Karen Eames banged on the door again. Bobby finally opened it for her. She took his appearance him. She shook her head, very worried. He had lost a huge amount of weight. He was only eating once every other day, when she was there. At least he was taking showers and dressing, it was better than the last few weeks and when she had come to see him a few days after Alex had died.

Bobby sat down at the table and watched her cook. She spoke to him gently, as she started boiling the water for the spaghetti, "You should get out Bobby, got to work. You need to work."

Bobby shook his head. He stared into space and replied, "I can't."

Taking another pot out of his cabinet to start the sauce, Karen took a deep breath. It was the same conversation they had been having for weeks now. She closed her eyes and was determined to figure out why he was being this way, "Why not?"

Bobby managed, "I've told you."

Karen stopped. Turning around, she bent down and took his hands. She shook her head no. Finding his eyes, she replied, "No, Bobby. You really haven't."

Bobby was confused now. He wasn't sure why he had to spell it out. Why did he have to say everything to make them understand? He painfully answered, "She's not there."

Karen nodded. She choked back tears. She gently replied, "Oh Bobby. Why didn't you tell me sooner? Listen to me. She wouldn't want you to live like this. You know this. I know you know this. You have to move on. You get a new partner, and you solve cases. You work. It's what you're meant to do. You're meant to be a cop Bobby. Don't walk away from that."

Bobby nodded absently. With a sigh, Karen let go of his hands. Standing back up, she went back to the stove. She continued to talk, "At very least, you have to start eating Bobby. You're falling apart physically. Everyone's getting extremely worried, including me."

Bobby didn't acknowledge the words. He silently sat. After awhile, he asked, "Everyone is about to do something drastic, aren't they?"

Karen closed her eyes. Turning to face him again, she nodded slowly. She tried to make him understand, "We're afraid for you Bobby. You just. Please try."

Bobby looked away from her. He nodded again. He responded, "I don't go anywhere because there isn't anywhere for me to go."

Karen, exasperated, turned back to the food. She answered, "There are a lot of places for you to go Bobby. There's work, the grocery store, out for a beer with a friend, our house, museums… the list goes on. You just don't want to go. You have to try to shake this depression Bobby. You're hardly functioning."

Bobby sighed. He knew she had a point, but she was wrong about one thing. He promised her, "It's not depression."

Putting a plate of spaghetti in front of him, Karen, confused, asked, "Then talk to me Bobby. What is it?"

Bobby shook his head. He didn't want to talk about it. He couldn't talk about it, not to her. He replied, "I can't."

Karen nodded. She sighed, again and decided to try again in a little while.

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Bobby sighed. Crawling into bed, he was somewhat glad she was gone. He didn't have to have someone trying to get him to answer a lot of questions he didn't want to answer. It wasn't long before he fell asleep.

It was sometime in the night when someone sitting down on his bed woke him up. Straining in the dim light, he was confused and totally overwhelmed. He whispered, "Alex?"

She smiled slightly and ran her hands through his hair and replied, "Yeah."

Sitting up, Bobby was even more confused. He tried to say the words, "You're…."

Alex nodded and assured him, "Yeah."

Even more confused, Bobby stuttered, "Then how…."

Alex put her hand to his lips. She touched his cheek, and explained, "That doesn't matter. You're what matters right now. What are you doing to yourself?"

Bobby stopped. He stumbled through an explanation, "I… I don't know."

Alex closed her eyes. Concerned, she kept her voice calm, "My mother was right you know. You're skin and bones. You're letting yourself fall apart. Don't you dare kill yourself over me. You have to start eating. There's still more for you to do here Bobby. Don't throw your life away. We were cheated, that's a given, but its past time to pick up the pieces. Deakins isn't going to be able to give you paid leave, or any leave much longer. You're stronger than this. Don't be afraid to live again. You're not betraying me, us, by getting a new partner. You're not betraying how we felt by living your life again. You're a brilliant cop Bobby. You're too good at your job to give it up. There are other women out there. Meet them. You're not hurting me by doing that, anymore than I was hurting Jack when I was with you. Life moves on, and you have to move with it. If you won't listen to anyone else, please, I'm begging you, listen to me. If you ever loved me, you'll take your life back. You won't forget me. You know this stuff. You're just trying to use it to hide. Stop hiding, please."

Bobby was overwhelmed. There was so much he wanted to say, so much he wanted to feel. He started, "Of course I love you. I miss you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have protected you."

Alex kissed him to stop him. She shook her head. She touched his cheek again. She replied, "It wasn't your fault. Please, stop blaming yourself. I love you too, but I can't stay. I just. I can't watch you do this to yourself."

Bobby sat up in bed with a start. His heart was racing and his skin was clammy and dripping with sweat. He wandered into the bathroom and took a long shower, trying to calm his nerves.

Staring in the mirror, he desperately tried to shake the images from his mind. Had it been a dream? Something else? Had she come to him? Was she that worried? Really looking himself over in the mirror, he shook his head. She was right. He was starting to see ribs.

Lying back down, his mind still tried to understand it. It had felt too real to be a dream, but he definitely hadn't been awake. What was it? But really, did it matter? The message was more important. He decided he wanted it to be her. It made him feel closer to her, and it made the message more important. It made the message real and that meant everything to him. He was scaring her. He was going to have to fix his life, again. He finally fell asleep again. Tomorrow was going to be a starting over, again.

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Deakins sighed. He stared at his paperwork, again. But once again his thoughts were preoccupied by his detective who was basically refusing to leave his apartment. The new detective who was to be Bobby's new partner was starting to get restless. Deakins was beginning not to blame him. He had been here almost a month, and Deakins had been forced to keep him on desk duty and paperwork.

He had his door open, as usual, and the sudden quiet got his attention. Looking up to see why, he nearly had a heart attack. It was Bobby, standing in his doorway. Deakins stood and gestured for Bobby to come in. Bobby dutifully closed the door behind him. Sitting back down, Deakins started, "Hi."

Bobby sat down too with a sigh. He spoke softly, "I'm sorry. I know you've had to pull a lot of strings to keep them from firing me by now."

Deakins eyed Bobby warily. There was something in his eyes. There was a spark of the Bobby he knew, the Bobby that had disappeared when Alex was killed. He dared to hope that Bobby was coming back. He asked, "How are you?"

Bobby took a deep breath. That was definitely not an easy question. He tried to explain, "Let's just say, I've had a wake-up call. She really is gone. I can't keep hiding. I have to keep living."

Deakins stared at Bobby for a long moment before nodding. It was real. Bobby was coming back. He wasn't sure he'd ever know what caused this change, but he was glad to see it. Drastic measures wouldn't be needed after all. He wanted to ease Bobby back into cases. He didn't want to overdo things or go too fast. He pulled out a badge and gun from the bottom drawer of his desk. Handing them to Bobby, he explained, "These are yours. Look, Goren, how about we let you stick to paperwork for a couple of days."

Bobby eyed Deakins carefully. He knew he deserved the worry. He hadn't exactly been Mr. Stability lately. He suggested a middle ground, "If you're worried… I can work just a case or two and work back to my old case load."

Deakins nodded. It was as good a compromise as any, and he knew it wasn't fair to Bobby's new partner to force more desk duty on them. Getting up, he opened his office door and called, "Logan. In here please."

Logan hurried into the room. Eying Bobby carefully, he asked, "You Goren?"

Bobby arched his eyebrows and nodded. He could tell detective Logan was a man's man. That was fine with him. He finally nodded and answered, "Yes. Bobby Goren."

Logan nodded. Shaking Bobby's hand, he replied, "Mike Logan. I'm sorry about detective Eames. Captain gave me her desk. I hope that's OK."

Bobby nodded slightly. Logan seemed decent enough. He could give this a shot. He had to try. Bobby shakily assured him, "Someone had to take her desk."

Deakins pointed to Logan and explained to Bobby, "He helped out on a case. I thought we could give him a shot up here. So, both of you play nice."

Logan looked at Deakins now. He was hopeful, "Does this mean I'm going to get to do something now?"

Bobby smiled. Bobby suddenly definitely felt a little guilty. He realized Logan had probably spent the last few weeks shuffling paper. He spoke for Deakins, "He'll let us know when a case comes up. I. I need to straighten my desk."

Bobby saw Mike nodded and was glad when Mike followed him to their desks. Noticing the quiet, Bobby announced, "I really am OK everyone."

Mike smiled slightly. He watched as Bobby picked up the Santa mug he had deposited on his desk before going into Deakins office. He moved it to its proper place at the edge of the back of his desk. Opening a new pack of pens and pencils, he filled the mug. Mike smiled when Bobby finally looked up and noticed him watching from his chair. Mike finally asked, "All year?"

Bobby smiled slightly. Wagging his finger, he warned, "It was the first thing I ever gave her. Don't ever touch it."

Mike nodded and put his hands up in mock surrender. He'd play by Bobby's rules, for now at least. He'd play ball and maybe they'd get along. He promised, "Don't worry. I don't plan on bothering it. I promise."


End file.
